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G13's Blag

Ugh

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It's like 6am, I'm slightly intoxicated, and the neighbors are having noisy sex.

Like off and on for three hours.

And I'm pretty sure I heard a third voice a few times.
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  1. kotora's Avatar
    I'm sorry, we'll try to be more quiet next time.
  2. Steve's Avatar
    You know the funny thing is, isn't it like illegal to have 3somes in some parts of the states still?
  3. G13's Avatar
    Thanks, kotora.

    I don't think so, Steve. It might be in some states but I can't imagine anyone actually enforcing such a strange sounding law.
  4. Jentleness's Avatar
    I remember being a neighbor having noisy sex...
  5. Yeargdribble's Avatar
    My wife and I have totally been the loud neighbors before.... threesome action included.

    @Iceglow
    Only recently were sex toys decriminalized in Texas. Before that, having a certain amount would net you a felony because having over that number (3 I believe) would count you as a "dealer." And it's not like it was one of those unenforced laws. They actually did catch and charge people with it.

    There are still states where any position with missionary is illegal and oral sex certainly is.


    Speaking of noisy neighbors though... we used to have the oddest neighbors. They had no rhythm. I just didn't get them. Their sex was always punctuated with 5 seconds of pounding followed by a bit of laughing and then very uneven sex again. It was a weird slap.... slapslap... slap...........slap... slap....slapslapslap. What the hell? Nobody ever sounded like they were getting anywhere. There would be moaning followed by talking followed by moaning followed by laughing. It was always a very fake and pornographic sound coming from the girl.
  6. Hollycat's Avatar
    hah! oral sex is illegal!
    lolololololol
  7. Jentleness's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Yeargdribble
    Speaking of noisy neighbors though... we used to have the oddest neighbors. They had no rhythm. I just didn't get them. Their sex was always punctuated with 5 seconds of pounding followed by a bit of laughing and then very uneven sex again. It was a weird slap.... slapslap... slap...........slap... slap....slapslapslap. What the hell? Nobody ever sounded like they were getting anywhere. There would be moaning followed by talking followed by moaning followed by laughing. It was always a very fake and pornographic sound coming from the girl.
    Maybe it was a movie?

    Or maybe they were role playing? With a bit of S&M added in...
  8. Yeargdribble's Avatar
    It was oddly consistent. Any time they had sex it was like that. It was the spanking sound but rather the clopping sound of a guy slamming into a girl from behind... just completely arhythmic. Sometimes the TV was on in the background, but never porn.
  9. Jentleness's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Yeargdribble
    It was oddly consistent. Any time they had sex it was like that. It was the spanking sound but rather the clopping sound of a guy slamming into a girl from behind... just completely arhythmic. Sometimes the TV was on in the background, but never porn.
    Well, just like any other physical activity, being good takes practice. Maybe he needs more practice!
  10. Yeargdribble's Avatar
    The inability to have rhythm is always something that blew my mind. I used to think "How can people not clap a steady beat. Surely when they have sex they do it evenly. Just transfer that to clapping." Since these neighbors it has occurred to me that perhaps the rhythmically unable transfer their handicap to sex and literally have trouble keeping a steady motion. Mind boggling.
  11. Jiro's Avatar
    Eric you just need to have noisy sex back
  12. fire_of_avalon's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Yeargdribble
    My wife and I have totally been the loud neighbors before.... threesome action included.

    @Iceglow
    Only recently were sex toys decriminalized in Texas. Before that, having a certain amount would net you a felony because having over that number (3 I believe) would count you as a "dealer." And it's not like it was one of those unenforced laws. They actually did catch and charge people with it.

    There are still states where any position with missionary is illegal and oral sex certainly is.


    Speaking of noisy neighbors though... we used to have the oddest neighbors. They had no rhythm. I just didn't get them. Their sex was always punctuated with 5 seconds of pounding followed by a bit of laughing and then very uneven sex again. It was a weird slap.... slapslap... slap...........slap... slap....slapslapslap. What the hell? Nobody ever sounded like they were getting anywhere. There would be moaning followed by talking followed by moaning followed by laughing. It was always a very fake and pornographic sound coming from the girl.
    My state is like that. It's illegal to sodomize people. Joke's on them, I sodomize EVERYONE.