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noxious.sunshine

Si Una Vez....

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noxious.sunshine
, 06-04-2014 at 06:48 PM (1765 Views)
K so I found my ex's 2 sisters on Facebook.

I friended the older one and talked to her for a bit, then his little sister that I was also rly close to friended me and we talked quite a bit.

It was good. Everyone's doing well. The younger sister is engaged and getting married next year,the older one had twins not long after I moved back to Tennessee, and now her older 2 daughters have babies of their own.

... My ex is doing well. He's married with kids and bought a house . I'm happy for him. I can't believe I said that. I normally hold grudges for the rest of my life and almost never get over stuff.. Especially when it comes to things like how my ex treated me and the trout he put me through. Sure, I might be fine and ok, but it doesn't mean I'm not necessarily over it all. I still have issues and stuff.

But Anywho. I had a good talk with the younger sister. Lol I actually suggested she come to NYC for her honeymoon so we can hang out a little bit.

And I told both her and the other sister thanks for being there when everything got really crazy. They didn't have to do that and it meant a lot to me. She said, "That's what family is for, sister."

It made me a little teary, actually.

The 3 of us were always really close. The older sister's kids used to call me'tía'. I miss them lots. I can't believe it's been almost 10 years. Time goes by way too fast.

There's a lot of questions I have still, but I won't ask them. I don't think I'd like any of the answers very much, so I'm just better off not knowing.
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Comments

  1. Colonel Angus's Avatar
    My condolences to you for having to live in Tennessee.

    It's good that you guys can still be friends. Both you & your ex have moved on, so I don't see anything wrong w/ it.
    Updated 06-05-2014 at 03:50 AM by Colonel Angus
  2. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
    I live in NYC right now.

    But I miss Tennessee. It's my home and I can't wait to move back and settle down in Nashville permanently.
  3. Calliope's Avatar
    I think this is the wisest post I've seen from you.
  4. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
    Thanks Calliope

    I'm a lot wiser than people realize. I just can't be bothered enough most of the time to show it.
  5. Freya's Avatar
    I'm impressed with your resolve with this. I still hold grudges from people who scorned me several years ago.

    You're a better person than I would be about it.
  6. Shorty's Avatar
    Normally I'm one who pushes for closure, but in this case, yeah, probably better off not knowing.

    I hope speaking to them provided you a different sort of closure, though.
  7. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
    Thanks guys..

    I think it's just.. It's been almost 10 years. And back then, everyone was going through a rough time- not just me. So many things happened with all of us and it's a really long story.

    I still want to know why- and especially I want to know what my ex did to my dog. And of course, I wanna know if he ever really did care about me or love me or if he was only with me because "I had money".. And like if we hadn't been on drugs back then, would things have been better.. I can't help but wonder about it- why was that person/woman/thing better than me that he essentially left me for her? Why did I get treated like trout (literally. I was pretty much only allowed to be friends with his siblings and I was never allowed to talk to his friends.. And much more stuff.) and then thrown away like yesterday's garbage?

    Things like that will always stick with me, no matter how much I move on from it. And it's just something I have to deal with. You hear about abusive relationships and how the guy won't let the woman leave.

    With us, it was more like I gave him everything I had and when I started losing it all, he became worse and worse. Steadily.

    I'm glad he isn't the person I dated anymore. I wouldn't wish that kind of mindsmurf on anyone.

    I'll never be completely over it, but I'm done being upset and mad about it. There are just some hurdles that are impossible to jump, and my legs are very short, but I'm trying- even if it means falling on my face.