fire_of_avalon

Dear Guys in Line Behind Me at Subway,

Please do not notice those strips of leg hair I missed while shaving a few days ago. If you notice them you will feel really disturbed, possibly grossed out or you may potentially laugh at me.

It has taken me a really long time to be okay with wearing shorts in public again, and if you laugh at me I will probably have to burn all of my shorts. Because I will be upset when I set them ablaze I'll likely not notice the self-esteem pyre spread to my home where it will consume everything and everyone I hold dear.

Regards,

Megan L. Powell


Dear James Whitmore,

You played Brooks in The Shawshank Redemption and (SPOILER)made me cry when you hung yourself. That's not very nice of you. I'm not going to look you up on IMDB because, given the age you were when you played the role and the year of the film, you're probably dead. That would make me sad too.

Regards (In the Afterlife?),

Megan L. Powell


Dear Owner of the Shell Station at the Top of the Hill in Town,

Why don't you stock the Asian Pear flavored green tea by Snapple anymore? The past two occasions I have perused your inventory I have been forced to select inferior products. Please change your inventory ordering practices or I will be forced to whine to friends and family regarding this matter.

In all likelihood they will quickly grow tired of my whining and banish the topic. I will grow restless and incensed as it remains on my mind. I may become short with my pet fish as a result. That would be terrible.

Regards,

Megan L. Powell


Dear Robert Downey Jr.,

I just think you're the bees knees, I really do. Every time I see you I have to smile. Maybe someday you can play me in the movie version of my life story! I will set about getting you the appropriate wig.

Regards,

Megan L. Powell