fire_of_avalon

There's not a damn thing I feel like I could yell about right now, so I'm gonna yell about that. (I know this is pretty early to be breaking the fourth wall, but let's get the schtick out and then whip your dicks out. Sorry. I just like rhyming cliches.)

smurf you, brain! There are only so many talents I have. I don't win friends and admirers through my goddamn sweetness, good lucks or intelligence. People like me because I am outsmurfingrageous. I yell and scream and pitch fits, but they're all generally good-hearted.

But you betray me. The one thing that wins me friends, the one thing I am loved for above all else, you decide you don't wanna do anymore? smurf you, mothersmurfer! I'll stab you with a goddamn q-tip until you comply or I start drooling from one corner and seeing squirrels out of the corner of my eye. Remove some of my serotonin, up my adrenaline and give me my Hulk-rage back! (Yeah, I stole the q-tip joke from the Simpsons. smurf you.)

Am I trying to hard yet? Please say yes so I can start posting pictures of puppies or recipes or something.