I like frogs

It seems like a pretty stupid idea now. I have a hard enough time finding a girl who's smart enough, sexy enough, and strong enough that I'd like to fertilize her eggs. If she had a kid, the last thing I'm going to do it pop it into my mouth on a night when there isn't any ketchup in the fridge to put on my salami sandwich. But I guess we really have to consider the times. This is, like, the 21st century. Society has had 136 million years of development between phytosaurs and modern homosapiens. I think that too many people talk smack about the Coelophysis and how it ate its little lizardlings. Birdlings?. None of those people know what it's like to live in a paleozoic world, where everything is about to eat you. I mean, seriously, I bet those munchkin Coelophysis would eat their parents if their parents didn't eat them. So quit dissin' dinos! You don't know what they go through.

Anyway, it's always tough for me to go to parties. I don't smoke or drink, so I always feel rigid and pestered. Eventually I get agitated and I feel like succumbing to the lure or narcotics, but I manage to contain myself, like a cracked stone wall that fails to crumble. It is a peculiar feeling. All the power and lust in the world, like a tyrannosaurus, yet I only have tiny tyrano arms. That is, all the rage in the world and no guns. Whatsoever.

That is, my conservative self control is not strong enough to keep me sober and boring and unhappy. No. The tumultuous, unsorted spin cycle in my mind, surreality in a bottle, maniacal confusion. Listen to me. If I lose my self control, I am a little dangerous, I think. My sobriety is not about religion, strength of character, rebellion against the common forms of rebellion. No. It is straight up cowardice! Hold the ice. This is my conscious decision that is driven by a primal understanding, a force deeper and stronger than my temptations, so far beyond self control that it's a completely different ball field. My self control is like playing stickball in the backyard. The forces of fear and trepidation that seem to guide these odd, drug resistant elements of my life are like fighting tigers in the coliseum.

I wonder what it's like to fight tigers. I wonder if winners collect eyeballs or something. Like in fishing.

Anyway, I've had a weird, hazy morning. Kinda coming off a frenzy. The kids aren't alright. Nelly Furtado is cooling me off right now. And when the music's over...