Parkers Poop Paradise

Nope. I'm actually dying. Maybe.

Ok, so maybe I'm not [i]dying[/i], but I am pretty sick. Right.

Well.....maybe it's a mild case of the sniffles.

It doesn't mean I can't milk it for all it's worth.

My roomates have been topping my glass up with fresh water, bringing me food, arranging my pillow, singing me to sleep and spraying my room with perfume.

I think I'm going to be horribly and irreversibly unwell for the rest of my life.