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Pumpkin

Sad ramblings

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I did some jogging today and I didn't run out of energy as quickly as usual, so that's a positive! And I've been working hard on my workouts

But I haven't trimmed down much or lost much weight and that makes me very sad. I feel like a tub of lard. I hate going out in public because I'm worried people are looking at me and thinking "Look at that fatass!" It's getting hot here and I can't even wear my shorts because I'm so worried about going out showing my fat thighs.

I know it's my own fault for letting it get to this point and I know I shouldn't care what strangers think. I think it just gets to me because it's what I think too. Like I can see everyone thinking what I think every time I look in the mirror and it makes me unhappy.

I guess all I can do is keep working towards my goal. I'm planning to start doing weights on the days I don't have my high intensity workouts and do some more on the spot jogging. I don't eat the healthiest because then I quit, but I have generally cut down on portion sizes and I eat much less in the way of unhealthy snacks.

It's a process. I'll try to get better and work harder and hope it pays off in the end. That's really all I can do
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Comments

  1. Fynn's Avatar
    Just keep doing what you can - you'll get there!

    I also recently learned we often have a twisted perception of our bodies. You may think you're fat and taking up space, but other people may simply not notice that. I always thought I'm kinda small, even though objectively I'm a pretty big guy.
  2. Freya's Avatar
    So My mom has been out of town for over a month and I saw her yesterday. I'm in the same boat as my weight hasn't budged but I feel stronger. She commented that I do look firmer and "less jiggly" lol So you may be losing fat but building more dense muscle so your weight hasn't shifted. You may be looking firmer.

    Just keep at it! Rome wasn't built in a day, as the saying goes.
  3. Pumpkin's Avatar
    Thanks guys

    I feel more jiggly if anything, but I might just be looking for it. My endurance has gone up!