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ToriJ Video Game Reviews

One last rant about a certain Final Fantasy

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Final Fantasy XIII is a game I haven't talked a lot about on my blog or social media, so allow me to start this rant off with my thoughts on the game.

I didn't like it.

Now, ever since I made my feelings of this game known, I have had several people from the FFXIII fan community (apparently this exists) that has come out of the woodwork to explain to me why I'm wrong and should give the game a second chance to the point of excessive nagging. So, allow me to address each one of these points made so I can finally put this behind me.

"It gets better twenty hours in."

How is this even an argument? Nothing should take that long to get good. That's two Game of Throne seasons back to back. I could do a runthrough of twenty retro games. There are some games who runtime isn't even that long. If you need TWENTY HOURS to get to the heart of your game, then you seriously need to reconsider your career choice.

"Every Final Fantasy game is linear!"

This is actually true, however there's a vast difference to the linearity you're thinking of, and running in a straight line fighting monsters because the game designers were making Call of Duty with a Final Fantasy skin. Actually, that would have been a good game, but instead we're left with this piece of trout!

"There are other RPGs that don't let you control the rest of your party."

Yes, and those RPGs battle systems are done in real-time, so it makes sense that you can't control your teammates. FFXIII is turn-base. I'm sorry, but that doesn't work with a turn-base battle system. It just doesn't! If you want to go that route you may as well make it real-time, and hell even then it's a step backwards. FFXII's battle system was real-time and you can still control each of your characters if you want. There's no excuse.

"Every Final Fantasy game has flaws."

And the flaws in those games don't make the ones in this one go away. If anything it just embellishes them because instead of looking back to see what does and what doesn't work, they make even more mistakes than the ones they made in the past!

"Troy f'n Baker!"

Is a talented voice actor who realized his full potential when he was involved in projects where people were actually competent.

"The sequels were better."

Do they fix any of the issues the first game had with characters and story?


Then I don't care! Divide the amount of smurfs I give and you'd create a black hole BECAUSE YOU'D BE DIVIDING BY ZERO!

"I think you just don't like fun."

~Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.~

I heard it said, "We're not allowed to like this game." I find the opposite to be true. We're not allowed to dislike the game, because apparently disliking it will cause the world to fall out of its rotation and go hurling into the sun ending humanity as we know it!

If you like the game, that's fine. Play them and enjoy them. I like FFVIII and X. If I spent every waking moment defending them I wouldn't have time to take a trout!

So, I will say this as nicely as I can. I don't like Final Fantasy XIII. I don't care if you do. I don't care if you don't. Just do me this one favor. Just this one.

Leave. Me. Alone.

Because any chance I had of actually playing this game again and enjoying it? You killed that chance. You burned it in a fire and have ensured I will never be able to enjoy any of these games.



  1. FFNut's Avatar
    I agree with you 100%. I couldn't make it out of the opening sequence without shutting it off and burying it in a box, that I most likely will never open again. People loved it on name alone. For me it couldn't live up to what a FF title should be.
  2. Wolf Kanno's Avatar
    At least finish the tutorial.
  3. Pumpkin's Avatar
    I liked it, I had fun. To me it was a good game, but a bad FF. Final Fantasy can and has done so much better, but I still enjoyed myself
  4. FFNut's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Pumpkin
    I liked it, I had fun. To me it was a good game, but a bad FF. Final Fantasy can and has done so much better, but I still enjoyed myself
    Thats what killed it for me, it was a bad Final Fantasy.
  5. Fynn's Avatar
    To be fair, Persona 3 is a turn-based RPG where in the original version you directly control only your leader. And it worked!
  6. Ayen's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf Kanno
    At least finish the tutorial.
    All I can think about in the first panel is Tommy Wiseau from The Room going: "Dey betrayed me! Dey didn't keep their promise! Dey are using me! And I am the ful."
  7. Karifean's Avatar
    I can sort of empathize with the people you're complaining about, but if you don't enjoy FF XIII in its early parts you probably don't enjoy its very fundamental basis, so continuing to play is a waste of time.