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jenovajunkie

Blog me crazy, but I like the idea of a monogamous relationship.

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Hey,

Just talked to some guy who tried to convince me that monogamy is not in our DNA because animals are not monogamous. Uhhh.... animals also exhibit homosexuality, does that means deep down we should just smurf everything that we can?

I like to think that we shouldn't, call me crazy but when I was in school I loved to date women without having the having to deal with cheating.

Weird. I don't know, maybe it was my christian upbringing or my over protective parents. But whatever the why is that I am like that, I just am. Just because other people like to do that, doesn't that I would forego having a genuine relationship just for that.

But I understand women do cheat. They may even withhold that information for years, in one case a wife waited 15 years to confess to her husband. But I understand that the general population isn't a few cases, but really, is it fair that women hold men to that standard, but men can't hold women?
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  1. Wolf Kanno's Avatar
    Monogany does exist in animals actually, so I wouldn't listen to this person trying to tell you otherwise. It actually has more advantages for species survival than polygamy.

    I'd say both sexes tend to hold grudges in terms of infidelity. I'd say the bias comes more from gender bias' that say men are always more likely to cheat than woman are, even though I believe the actual evidence dictates that it's closer to 50-50 than our society would care to admit to.
  2. Slothy's Avatar
    Cheating isn't the same thing as non-monogamy.
  3. Fynn's Avatar
    Sure, but a cheating person can't exactly be called monogamous
  4. Slothy's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn
    Sure, but a cheating person can't exactly be called monogamous
    Certainly. But I see a lot of people conflate cheating with non-monogamous relationships and I feel the distinction is important, especially as polyamorous relationships become more common and more talked about. People can be in a non-monogamous relationship and still cheat just as cheating isn't a non-monogamous relationship structure.

    Ultimately cheating is cheating in any relationship paradigm as it's really just violating relationship boundaries set between the parties involved.
  5. jenovajunkie's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Slothy
    Certainly. But I see a lot of people conflate cheating with non-monogamous relationships and I feel the distinction is important, especially as polyamorous relationships become more common and more talked about. People can be in a non-monogamous relationship and still cheat just as cheating isn't a non-monogamous relationship structure.

    Ultimately cheating is cheating in any relationship paradigm as it's really just violating relationship boundaries set between the parties involved.
    But how do you separate cheating in a polyamorous relationship? If you don't like the partner that you partner has chosen to sleep with, now is that cheating?

    So technically, your relationship choice is no longer what you are attracted to, but what your partner is.
  6. Slothy's Avatar
    I'm not sure you understand. People who are polyamorous and pursue relationships of that type don't all date the same people. It's not like if I had a girlfriend and I also wanted to have a boyfriend that my girlfriend is also dating my boyfriend. That can be a thing people do but it doesn't have to be and it's probably not the case in most polyamorous relationships. I'll say it again that cheating is just violating an established boundary in a relationship. So if I had a girlfriend and we were both fine with the other dating or sleeping with other people on the condition they tell us they are and don't hide it from the other person, it would then be cheating if one hides the fact that they have another partner.