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Hello everyone!

I have a lot to update on today -- some good and some bad.

The bad news is my biological father died and I am having to come to terms with his death. I was close to him which is why I find it weird that I am not feeling too much. I think I'm pretty numb about what's going on and I usually wake up feeling pretty empty. I noticed that every time life hits me hard that it never stops. Right now, I'm throwing myself into school and projects to help ease the emptiness. I'm sure his death has a subtle but profound effect on me and how I view life now. Sharing this is probably an effect of that but I'm not too sure. Either way, I will be okay, I am just taking it day by day.

I can dive into this a bit more if there's any interest but I just wanted to preface this blog with this because I may be going through a lot of ups and downs from here on out.

The rest is just updates on custom keyboard parts I've ordered awhile ago. For those of you that don't know I'm into custom mechanical keyboards -- I spend a good portion of my money on various items. In the near future I plan on making my own custom mechanical keyboard but for now I've resorted to looking at key caps for my boards. The key caps I ordered are called Pom Jellies and they look like little candies. It's definitely an acquired aesthetic because there's no type face on the keys. They're all blank but with the current keyboard that I have they look really nice.

Gif of my keyboard

And finally my update on my quest to play all the main Final Fantasy titles & possibly their spin-offs. I have managed to beat Final Fantasy I - IX and promptly stopped at X because I think I was getting burnt out. I have been filling a lot of my gaming hours with playing Valorant because I'm a highly competitive player. I'm currently ranked Diamond and am trying to get to Immortal and then Radiant. Like with all games with rank, it can be grindy, and sometimes I lose myself in that grind. Through it all I have been helping a lot of my friends learn the game and it has set me back from achieving my goal of reaching the highest rank. I think I'm okay with it because there is no real rush to reach the highest rank for me. At the end of it all, I'd like to join a high-performing team and try out some tournaments. I'm not sure if that time will come but its always something I look forward to when it comes to games like Valorant.

However, I noticed my lack of commitment to my original goal and I think I've decided to set every Friday of the week to playing through Final Fantasy. I haven't decided what hours I want to commit to the game yet. Originally, I was thinking 5-8 hours per session, it feels like a good balance without burning myself out on the game. I wanted to start this routine this week but some things have come up that it may be pushed back into September.

In summary, I'm grieving because of my dad, I got new keycaps for my keyboard, and I'm working to tackle Final Fantasy X through the month of September.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this blog.

~ Ham

Updated 08-27-2020 at 10:57 AM by ham (Category Update)

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Final Fantasy , Personal Life , Miscellaneous , Video Games