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They call me Proto.

I feel really terrible now.

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And by terrible, I mean I'm feeling down. Late last month, I nicked the bumper one of the tenant's pick-up truck and made a slight scratch on it while I was backing up. I said I would do my best to help pay for it, but that's the thing. Usually, a paint job for a bumper would be at least $200, or somewhere around that price range if the auto repair shop was nice enough to give discounts. Anyway, I'm just really worried about how I could pull this off since I have such a small bank account, and not being able to have any steady source of income. I've been unemployed for over a year, and I don't know if I'll be able to find any sort of employment because of my schedule with dialysis getting in the way. I just feel really terrible about this. This is why I never ever bring up anything of this sort of thing because I don't feel great about it. Who would want to know that Proto is an unemployed man who hasn't held a job for a year and he has to receive disablity checks because he goes to Dialysis? I'm sure most people would start to think of him as less of the person he tries to make himself to be. Even his own mother is ashamed of this, and stuff. I really hate to talk about this because I feel so terrible about myself when I do. I wish I did have some part time job, but the problem lies with my ability to find the job. *sigh* I feel so terrible about this, I wish it wasn't such a problem in my life. I'm fortunate enough to have a mother that would let me stay for free, but I can only do so much with my limited funds and whatnot, until I actually find some sort of part time job, or something.

I really needed to get this off my chest, it's been bothering me. I still feel lousy though. :S I can't write my feelings worth trout.
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Comments

  1. Jessweeee♪'s Avatar
    aw we love yiou proots everythings okay
  2. Shorty's Avatar
    Aww, Jeffie, this makes me sad to read. It's really nice that your mother lets you stay with her. How's the job market in your area right now?

    Don't worry, honey. We all hit down time in our lives. I'm sure that if you keep looking, something will come your way.
  3. fire_of_avalon's Avatar
    I'm sure you already know this but if you do look for a job you need to be really careful. If you work too many hours in a month you can have your disability payments suspended and that might be worse for you.

    I know what you mean about feeling ashamed, but I don't think you should feel that way. It's not like you made these things happen to you.
  4. Ace Protorney's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
    I'm sure you already know this but if you do look for a job you need to be really careful. If you work too many hours in a month you can have your disability payments suspended and that might be worse for you.

    I know what you mean about feeling ashamed, but I don't think you should feel that way. It's not like you made these things happen to you.
    This is something I'm usually worried about, so it's been tough to find something that wouldn't suspend my disability payments. My mom did inform me last month that I could possibly go back to my old job, which is usually working simply for tips. I don't get hourly wages since it's a "self-employed" kind of job. All I just need to do is make the visit and speak with the supervisor in charge. I've been meaning to do this, but my hand has been sprained about two weeks ago. I think I should be able to make a visit and have a talk to see if I can start working there again.