fire_of_avalon

Last night I had one giant clustersmurf dream divided into four different sections. All were death themed, in one way or another.

In the first dream my great grandma, who's been dead for 8 years, said she needed me to take her and my sister to the elementary school to pick up a neighbor kid. But the only way I could take her was by putting her in this sling thinger made of leaves and branches. It was kind of like those double barrel water-carriers you see in movies and stuff.

Thusly.

So I was walking up the mountain, carrying my grandma and my sister over my shoulders in these leaf swings and really just having a hard time of it. When my sister decided she'd rather walk. So it flipped my grandma out of her seat and I had to carry her piggyback.

So we finally make it to the elementary school when the second "part" of the dream begins. The adorable little girl I'm meant to be picking up and taking home is actually being guarded in a room by a horde of zombies. Blue zombies.

Fast blue zombies.

Not this kind.

So some person there hands me a six shot revolver, and let me tell you how smurfed up the chambers were. It was like Picasso designed the chamber while he was completely smurfing wasted.

I don't know how you'd ever speed load that thing.

Eventually I managed to get all the bullets (laying loose on the table in some room) in there, took aim at a zombie and fired.... only not really. Gun just clicked. Apparently, even though I put all six shells in there, I still had to do a blank fire to get the cylinder aligned correctly.

Which makes a lot of sense when
you think about how messed up the chambering would have to be.

This resulted in me being devoured by the horde, because obviously they heard the empty click.

Thankfully I respawned and got to try the whole thing over again. This time I remembered the smurfed up cylinder and the first shot. And then I was taking headshots like I was born to do it.

One zombie in particular wouldn't go down no matter how many times I shot her. She was also a particularly brighter shade of blue. After we rescued our young charge, I found out she was some kind of human decoy and I had magic smurfing bullets that wouldn't kill people? I guess that's how my conscience prevents me from being a cold blooded killer in my dreams. Blue dead guys, SKULLTACULAR EXPLOSIONS. Blue normies, a red splat appears!

Also, no, my dead grandma did not assist me in zombie murder. I don't know where she went.

After that, I complained to my friend Liz about how I hadn't seen my boyfriend in three weeks and how I thought he was cheating on me.

Please note that I haven't spoken to the particular boyfriend about whom I was referring in three or so years. At this point I started to maybe question the nature of these events and thought I might've been dreaming. Instead of pursing this line of thought, I went shopping to buy his new girlfriend pajamas.

While I was pajama shopping I stumbled into this cheap but AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL carnival meant for kids only. I mean there was a roller coaster made of pink light! And spinny things, and neon lights that would make the Vegas strip look like downtown Mayberry.

Like this, but PINK LIGHT ROLLER COASTER

For a moment, my breath was taken away and I felt small, child-like and full of wonder.

And then the little girl I'd rescued from the zombies flew off of the pink light roller coaster and smashed into the side of a mountain right before my eyes into an explosion of sparkles and light.

The End.