Faris
ain't no garden-variety octopus
4
Recognized Member

I have a solution. You should breed some sort of new piñata that can handle my crowtoothbarmersham. Then we can have a proper party. Bring your vet, though.

I DUN THINK THAT IS FAST ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN WE RIDE AN OSTRICH THAT IS OVERDOSED WITH STEROIDS INSTEAD??

BUT THAT WAS THE ONLY PIÑATA IN THE WORLD THAT COULD HANDLE MY CROWHAMMERBRUSH! WHAT A DILEMMA

I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS FARIS!!! I MISSES IT SO MUCH!!!!! WHAT SHOULD i DO!!??

EXCELLENT! FIGHTING AND BRINGING MUSIC ARE WHAT I'M BEST AT! BUT I ALREADY RAPED DESTROYED THE PIÑATA WITH MY "CROWBAR"

FIRED?! BUT I HAVE SO MANY OTHER USEFUL QUALITIES! I CAN BE A CROWBAR! AND A HAMMER! AND A... WHAT DO YOU CALL THOSE LITTLE BRUSHES THAT YOU USE FOR YOUR TONGUE? THE ONES THAT AREN'T AS HARD AS REGULAR TOOTHBRUSHES? I WOULD BE A REGULAR TOOTHBRUSH BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD APPRECIATE THE GRATING ON MY SKIN SO I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR BEING A TONGUE BRUSH. WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE I'D RATHER GET A LITTLE BIT OF SALIVA ON ME THAN A BUNCH OF PLAQUE AND GRIME.

I CAN ALSO BE A PAPERWEIGHT AND A VERY UNCOMFORTABLE HAT.

WAIT, HOW COULD YOU FIRE ME IF I WASN'T HIRED IN THE FIRST PLACE?

THIS IS THE MOST CAPS LOCK I'VE EVER SENT YOU IN A SINGLE VISITOR MESSAGE. WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.

I DON'T KNOW I'M NOT A TELESCOPE

YOU CAN'T FOOL ME FARIS! THAT ISN'T A DISTRACTION, IT'S A CAT!

Gynecologist? Pfft. I'd do it for free.

I AM DOING FINE!!! I AM HAPPY AND ROLLING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A PANDA EVERYDAY!! YOU!!??