I Don't Need A Name
has become well known in these parts!
Don't get mad, get moist

I laughed. Really smurfing loud. I don't know what to say, because I feel like whatever I do say will cheapen that sentence. So I'm ending that chapter and starting a new one (I hope you realise I'm publishing this).

Um, you've kinda brought up some repressed memories there. A whole bunch of them. This one time I covered myself in coronation chicken and buggered a donkey, but then I got dragged away, and then got told I ruined the nativity play and now I'm on the sax offenders register or something, I dunno what that is. I've never even owned a saxophone.

Well until some irresponsible bastard sticks their dick into it. Then you're smurfed in both a literal and metaphorical sense. (is it actually metaphorical idk it's been too long since english to remember the technicalities but we'll go with that)

We'll put you in a condom to protect you, and when you need exercise we'll take you out and play swingball.

I kinda sat there thinking about that and I'm blown away by the images I conjured. I tried to recreate it on MS Paint but the program crashed and uninstalled itself and I think secret services are coming.

I think when you die we should keep your brain in a jar and poke it for ideas every now and then.

Oh tit. I just got them smurfing installed. You know what? smurf that. No. If any pervert aliens wanna smurf with me then I'll take them on. I'm one tough tena wearing sonnuvabitch, and I'm level 65 on World of Warcraft so I'd like to see them try.