My name is...something..?
is holding an ORB
BeLIEve me!

It is my dream to know what THING is your name.

Just another Thursday night in our life.

1000 Rainbow Bright Pokemons

MNiS paced batty back and forth. Matrimony dread filled his heart. Pyschotic should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my boing love, MNiS thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Pyschotic had been taken hostage by Bang Toe Nail, a supervillain who had the city in a state of magic terror. MNiS fainted dead away, like a sea lion facing off the king of the jungle lion.

When he came to, there was a bump on his man boob and the matrimony dread had returned. "Pyschotic, my bounce honey bunny," he cried out girly. "What is Bang Toe Nail doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing merrily as he swung him by the leg.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, MNiS remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 rainbow bright pokemons, then whatever you wish for will come true.

MNiS ordered in a supply of rainbow bright and set to work, folding pokemons until his man boob was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last pokemon when Pyschotic walked in the front door.

"Pyschotic!" MNiS screamed and threw himself into Pyschotic's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 rainbow bright pokemons and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on a drowning fish. He kissed Pyschotic ugly on the leg.

"Actually," Pyschotic said, pulling away fuddy duddy, "I was rescued by the Ache My Little Pony. He's a new superhero in town." Pyschotic sighed. "And he's really dog."

The matrimony dread came back. "But you're fat to be back here with me, right?"

Pyschotic checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Ache My Little Pony for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay love, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

MNiS choked back a sob and started folding another pokemon. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

But our eyes are innocent.
Our purity would be faded by reading such things.
As for the things in lime, we have no idea what you are talking about.

Let's just all have a cup of tea in the swimingpool!

...WITH LOTS OF DANCING ELEPHANTS!!!

The Dread Pirate Ratsbane FTW!

I say, that looks just like MNiS! No wait... I'm sorry, that thing looks cute, it can't be him. My mistake. (I love you, MNiS!)

Oh, this coming from the guy who posted unmetionable things in giant lime green letters in my usernotes. I wouldn't want to burn your virgin eyes. And it's not a lemon fic anyway. I'd get banned if I posted one of those.

Also, I have come to the conclusion that since you are referring to yourself as "We" that you must have had your account hacked by this little guy, whose name is We.

Woot, we've been remembered!

We read the first line of that and stopped due to the fear that you just posted a lemon in our usernotes.

Hey, I kinda remember you!

It was a soft tapping at the window that woke him. Larsa had long been a light sleeper (a habit ingrained in him since he was 12 years old and traveled for the first time through lands where being able to wake quickly was vital to survival), and this small, insistent noise was more than loud enough for him. Quickly, and yet with a certain amount of caution, he grabbed his dagger from beneath his pillow (the blade a gift from Penelo on his sixteenth birthday) and crept towards his window, the source of the interruption.

What Larsa saw when he finally reached the window made him drop his weapon and wrench the window open. "Penelo!" he whispered as he helped the young woman inside his private chambers. Once inside, she dusted herself off and flexed her hands, trying to work out the kinks that had formed from hanging desperately on the ledge outside the window. "Not that I am displeased to be graced with your radiant presence," the young Emperor continued, watching her apprehensively, "but may I ask what in the world you are doing here at this time of night? I had not heard that you and Vaan were in town..."

The way Penelo's face darkened at the mention of her best friend and fellow sky pirate caused the younger man to trail off. Her eyes took on a murderous glint and her hands fisted tightly at her sides. "I am going to kill him!" While still whispered, her vehement tone caused the Larsa to back away quickly.

"Um, Penelo? Perhaps if you were to explain, I might have it in my ability to help you...?"

----

The explanation that Larsa had asked for was almost too incredulous to believe. Of course, it had taken Penelo a good deal longer to calm down than he'd anticipated, and dawn was approaching Archades as the Emperor tried to wrap his mind around what he was being told.

"I must check these facts. Vaan read this...picture book?" Penelo nodded in confirmation. "And it gave him an idea for a new alias." Again, a nod. "As such, he wanted to get his new name to be known, and decided to...paint it on the walls of my palace?" Here Larsa's voice rose several pitches.

The blonde grinned. "And Ashe's, too, but he figured that one wouldn't be so bad, since we are both Rabanastran and all. Besides, I think Ashe has a soft spot for Vaan anyway. It's probably why he decided to do that one himself," she finished with a shrug.

Larsa looked at his unexpected guest with a raised eyebrow. "If that is the case, then why, dear lady, were you the one hanging outside my window and not he?" Penelo's resulting blush spoke volumes to the young man, especially when coupled with the endearing way she averted her eyes from his.

----

Later that morning, after the sun had properly risen, the Emperor of Archadia breaks fast in his private apartments, drapes drawn so that no peeking eyes would see his guest, especially since the workmen were busy scrubbing the words "DREAD PIRATE RATSBANE WAS HERE" off of the walls below the Emperor's windows.

----

Vaan paced outside the large, impressive, ornate doors, wrestling internally with his decision. He couldn't just march in there, after all, since Penelo would most likely kill him on sight, and he didn't think that Larsa would be all that pleased with him either. What kind of friend leaves his pirating partner dangling from a ledge? It wasn't his fault that a patrol of Judges (just the minor ones, though; Gabranth wouldn't have cared so much) were coming around the far corner of the building and gods be damned, he certainly wasn't going to get tossed in jail!

Shaking his thoughts away from those events of two weeks earlier, Vaan nodded to the footman standing next to the door. The door opened, and the footman announced, "The Dread Pirate Ratsbane" to the largely empty hall. There came no sign of recognition from the large desk and chair at the far end, and Vaan masked his nervousness behind a a casually arrogant and comfortable swagger.

"Hey Larsa!" His overloud voice echoed in the room, and still no sign of acknowledgement. "I was, uh, kinda wondering if you know where Penelo is? We've just gotten a commission from Ashe and..." Vaan trailed off as the Emperor of Archadia slowly raised his head, his expression impassive.

"Sir Ratsbane," he stated calmly, and Vaan winced at the name, "for what purpose could you possibly use my betrothed that you could not use your other assistants?"

Vaan grinned. "Well, Penelo's my navig-wait, what?" The Emperor's lips quirked upwards for the slightest of seconds.

"I would ask that you refrain from attempting to steal the Lady Penelo away from my protection," was the only reply the young sky pirate received as the most powerful young man in Ivalice stood. It was at this point that Vaan realized that Larsa wasn't wearing his usual robes of state, but rather a shirt and trousers that made it quite clear that he was sporting Joyuex and sword-breaker. His hands rested meaningfully on the hilts, and Vaan got the hint (for once).

Before Larsa could take another step, Vaan turned and sprinted towards the open window to his left and, in a move straight out of a bad action flick, dove through it and landed on top of his airship, which Kytes had piloted to be waiting there in case Vaan was stupid in front of the Emperor again. Scrambling inside, he yelled orders to Kytes to, in short, get them the hells away from Archades.

Back in the palace, Penelo giggled as she stepped out from behind a well-concealed door. "You know," she told Larsa, "we really must do this more often."

"Which part of it, my lady?"

"The part where you get all protective of me and make Vaan going flying through the window without even touching him, of course!"

Ah, I love fanfiction. That was written by pool_watcher on LJ. The originals are here:
http://pool-watcher.livejournal.com/5330.html
http://pool-watcher.livejournal.com/5475.html