Why are we here? What is the Reason we exist? This is a question that we have all asked ourselves, and as our lives progressed the answer came to us. One man answered our question whole heartedly. He gave us the answer we had searched for, coming from the voice of the Computer the answer was made clear, 42.
However you people aren’t satisfied with that are you? You just keep on wanting more and more, well guess what? Your not getting it. In its place you shall not get the answer you seek, but the Weirdest member of EoFF, cause I’m a dick like that.
Normally, this is where the Candidates would be listed, but that would be normal, and we all know how you people don’t’ like normal. Instead I shall start with a famous quote from my good friend Sophia from Golden Girls, “Your uncle always used to say, ‘Some people say the Glass is half empty, others say its half full. Me? I drink whatever’s in the Glass.’” Sophia’s good brother is the kind of guy who will win this award. True story, he’s one it before. Don’t believe me? That’s because you looked it up in the Wiki and Archives and found facts, but that’s why your wrong. If you listened to your gut, you’d know I’m right.
From Sexists to Creepy Tongues, storm troopers to Magical Turns in a street, we have all different kinds of weird. Why are they here? Who knows. Why do they keep coming back? Probably because they can’t get Laid. Will they ever leave us alone? We hope not, without them do you know what we’d be? We’d be a forum about Fox News, that’s what we’d be. Hitler posts about Fox news, so does George Bush. You don’t want to be like George Bush, do you?
I’m sure you’re all wondering when I’m going to get to the contestants, and all I can say is I don’t care about the contestants, I’m here to make your life miserably by forcing you to read this until I feel like Stopping. However if I did that as much as I wanted Award Guy wouldn’t let me post my speech. It took enough sexual favors to get him to let me do this much. And now I only pray he doesn’t read this Paragraph and let out the truth. That wouldn’t bode well for me and the other writers, as we fear the Graphs. Scary things those Graphs, all the colors and what not. Its scary how well organized and Great This dudes Graphs are, you will find yourself staring at them all day, its quite hard not to talk about them as you can tell. I mean, the Mauve Charts are so fascinating, it’s surprising how few men know what Mauve is or even how to spell it, I sure don’t .I’m just Guessing. Though as distracting and derailing as they are, they won’t get to me. Now, where was I? Something about that north Korean Guy and Michael Jackson? Wait, catholic priests? *Award Guy whispers something in Corncracker’s ear*
No! Not the Charts! Ok, I’ll get to the Nominees. Starting off the weirdest members nominees is none other than Alastair!UK, and I’d have used the vertical line instead of an explanation point, but I can’t figure out what button to push for it. He is here because UK is in his name, and we all know them people are weird, I mean its UK. What is that anyway? Probably a knock off of US anyway.
Also competing is our Home Town Comic Hero Charles Schultz for His amazing drawings and writings of our nations most beloved Comic Dilbert. Wait, I mean Christmas, that’s right. Never can get those two right. Something about killing Old Manus or something, Levian being an Idiot and all that. Dilbert’s cooler anyway.
And I’m sure by now we all know who is up next. His face has appeared in so many awards it makes me sick. ShulpQuack, er, devil man, is the name of many of these awards, and it makes us all wonder, Should we cut back on the Drugs? His Third person speak has Propelled ShupQuack, I mean Devil Man, to some unimaginable pedestal for the likes of him to hold. It makes me weep. To bad you can’t win, he Devil Man?
Another award you lost. Feel the wrath of rules!
What could be stranger than a Cat Boy? They aren’t even sexy, they are just plain weird and Creepy, which is probably Why LunarWeaver has been Nominated. If he was a girl though, I would so try to get in his pants, I’m almost tempted to try right now, but due to various restraining orders do to acts in the past that won’t be possible at this time.
Next up on the list is Necronopticus, known for his work on the Ah! The Power of Cheese! For revealing the twisted Truth behind the story of FF IV, and whatever the hell he’s done recently, like any one knows him for anything else anyway, he has earned a place into the bowels of everyone’s weird lobe of the mind, or something. That’s the best I got for this Nominee, so if you guys have a problem talk to Award Guy, it’s his fault for letting me write this in the first place.
Old Manus is a regular to this award. Our local X-2 obsessed parasite has been infecting our forums for all this time with his cheesy one liners and half assed attempts at comedy. He has gained many enemies during his stay, and responds to them in the same fashion as everyone else, he flips them off.
The alleged child of Christmas, Rantzien makes his debut on the list. Who is he? If you’d read the first line of this paragraph you’d understand. Who is the Father? My guess is no one, it was all done asexually, but that’s beside the point, anything to come from Christmas is strange, so here he is in all his biologically impossible goodness.
The only question I have for our next competitor is how much PCP did you have to smoke to not only see a strange man with a tongue, but think people would enjoy seeing his portrait painted in your Sig every time you posted? Either this was a sick and twisted joke, or you need some serious help. Either way, it guaranteed you your nomination Rye, congratulations on destroying the Psyche’s’s of hundreds of lurkers. .
Then we... Have...Sephirothishere.....What’s so.....Weird......About......This Member? If there......Is need to........explain after..........reading this in...... all it’s........ Annoy......ing.......to Read..... Weirdness you........ Need............. to get....... Some Electroshock......... Therapy. You could go...... in with Rye.
Travobel, what can I say about Travobel? She worships Psy, that’s really all you need to say. To worship a nutball makes you possibly stranger than that very nut ball. There’s also that unhealthy Kefka obsession. I see Lemon Fan Fic Written all over these two.
But seriously, why Psy? Why not Hsu? Is something wrong with Hsu, Travobel? Well, actually yes, there is, but that’s beside the point. I’ll just move on to the next nominee before I destroy my own point further.
Nearing the Last of the Nominees is none other than Curtis, Heh heh, Curtis, Or as you other people know him, RSL. We all love RSL, his nice smile and beard, his big warm teddy bear of a body, the sweat dripping down as he rubs up against you in that basket ball game. Wait, RSL Isn’t nominated for this award, is he? Um, yeah, lets just replace RSL with themagicroundabout then, they probably look the same anyway.
Finally we end the Nominations with every old persons favorite side with Thanksgiving Turkey, Yams. The thing about him that got him here is he some how manages to remain on the administration without actually doing anything useful. Sure, he can spam, but so can Manus. Maybe we should Admin Manus then? Back to my point, wait? I had a point? Why the hell am I writing this? I don’t even like you people. I’m so upset I even spelt Tavrobel Travobel in that losers nomination. That’s it, I’m done with you nominees.
That’s right, I’m done with you. You think you’re all so great with your weird posts and online persona’s. Well I have news for you, in real life your normal! You here me! Normal, every last one of you! You probably all have B averages in school, have a decent looking Girlfriend or boy Friend, got accepted into a State College and work Part time at a gas Station to feed yourselves. Your all going to be working jobs that pay 20-35,000$ a year driving around a car with crappy gas millage which will lead to the end of the atmosphere forcing us all to live in suits so the suns radiation doesn’t fry us. Making our scientists bio engineer a new breed of plant that can survive the absurd conditions brought on by your uncaring mediocre life just so they can make oxygen for us to breathe. I hope you’re all very proud of yourselves for making those poor scientist’s work cause your to lazy to run off alternative methods to conserve our planet, you selfish pigs.
), though we never discussed Symore at all.
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