Fynn
is an EoFF Hero and/or Heroine
Radical Dreamer

Ah yes, the bane of hand writing stuff. I still need to type up the thing I wrote up the other day as well.

I plan to. My idea is still in the early stages anyway and may change over time.

I've been writing up more details for Game Developer RPG I wanted to do. That and I got inspired to work on a game that's about deconstructing and subverting the silent protagonist. Though that idea is still in the infancy phase and I want to make sure no one else has already done the idea, because I kind of get the feeling Undertale may have done a version of my idea already.

You know, the annoying thing about being a former psychology major is not analyzing everything. Course I often feel people tend to embellish their problems as well and I know I can be pretty theatrical.

I think ultimately, I simply feel like I'm stuck in a rut in life and frankly, I could probably get out of it pretty easily but I simply allow little things to bog me down and then my own general laid back attitude doesn't help matters. I simply need to keep working on changing my lifestyle to something I can live with. I've been thinking about how I used to have all this drive when I was younger and wondering what the hell happened to all of it. The biggest issue I have, I feel, is that I just don't have as many people around me with any real drive any more. This is the one quality I really love about you Fynn, you still have drive.

As for deadlines, they rarely work for me. Unless there is some kind of serious consequence attached to it (like money or a grade) I will fret about something until I realize it's too late and simply give up instead of kicking into "burn the midnight oil" mode like I did for school. Frankly, once I actually start writing, I tend to really enjoy it. It's simply the matter of getting me to get back to it after I stop.

Honestly, my gaming habits are not so bad. I've probably gamed more steadily in the last six months than I have in the last six years. Even then, I've reached the point where I can't just game for four straight hours and not be exhausted by it.

Of anything, my online habits are probably my real Achilles Heel. I stopped coming here for a few months and instead spent that time devouring YouTube videos, TV Tropes, and various Wikia. Even as I come back here, I find myself easily slipping back into a bad habit of hanging around on the forum, constantly checking for updates, when it's obvious nothing is actually happening. I didn't really even want to come back, I simply did so because I needed the familiarity and routine to help me cope with my anxiety and boredom from RL problems. Even now, I'm debating about leaving again cause it's been obvious that coming back was a bad move on my part, and simply a sympton of the greater problems.

I wish to work on my writing, but I also feel the root issue of all of my problems is my sheer dissatisfaction for where I am in life. I need to be focusing more on my personal needs, which is what the last few months were suppose to be about but got sidetracked by family drama, emergency pet hospital days, and a new boss that doesn't see eye to eye with me.

Fynn, is Day One over yet?

And now I'm remembering my issues with Phoenix Wright. I'm doing the final court case and looking over the evidence, I could see all the issues with the witness testimony but since everything is scripted, I have to figure out where the game thinks the testimony went wrong when I could probably tear the whole thing apart or at least ask relevant questions to get the ball rolling.

There is a discrepancy with the times on two of the pieces of evidence but since I can't figure out how to get Wright on that track, I'm kind of getting frustrated on some of the logic this game follows.

Probably the fact I hate my job, which is why I'm always more creative there because I'm trying to distract myself from the monotony. By the time I get home, I'm usually too mentally drained to want to be creative, so it's easier to just shut down and do something that doesn't take much mental effort. My last real creative spurt in life was the time I was unemployed for six months about three years ago.

The other issue with "busy months" is that I'm usually juggling family events and holidays. The majority of my family have their birthdays in the last four months of the year. That alone brings it's own drama because my family is pretty nice, but very clingy and needy. It's difficult to plan anything around them. None of this is helped by the fact that I find interacting with others to be very taxing, so even if I like them, I often walk away from group events completely drained and wishing for sleep or something simple to occupy my mind. Gaming in general is more of a coping/relaxing tool than a hobby for me nowadays.

It's not a busy month for me actually, I'm just more engrossed in other things at the moment.

True.