Vincent, Thunder God
is a name people speak well of
Banned

I've just noticed your sig!

Have another user note!

Cactuars are suppose to be naked so I guess that's okay.

Some day, when you least expect it, I'm gonna run naked into that church with a torch in one hand and a sign in the other that says "THE END IS NEAR - SINNERS REPENT" while continously screaming the same thing, and before you grasped the whole situation I'll have ran around the whole place and out again, leaving everybody with a "The time has come" brochure in their hands.

Now recruiting for the Church of the Thunder God! Thinking of becoming a member of church staff? PM me for placement!

MASS

Evastio, High Priest: Welcome my brothers and sisters of Thunder Worship. Today we will begin with some psalms from the Thunderan..

Link 31793, Shaman: *Clears throat, takes out his gold-bound copy of the Thunderan* 2:12 - And upon the day of his birth, the Heavens called out with cracking peals of thunder and lightning carved the sky. We now call this day Thundermas, and celebrate yearly.

Thah-ah-ah-d-en

5:15 Itsunari 5000, Fire God had once again corrupted the people of the world, converting them to the Heathen practices of the Pire. Upon returning from an extended session in Theaven (the Thunder God's own portion of Heaven) observing the proceedings of his Cloud Angels, he realized his once beautiful head church had fallen into disrepair.

"Time for some smiting!" he thought. After saving all he could from the evil corruption, he called down a storm that flooded the whole land. He came in a vision to a certain merchant named Floah, and ensured that he had built a strong vessel to carry all of the survivors to safety.

Tha-ah-ah-d-en.

Evastio, High Priest: Thank you, Shaman. Now some hyms to our lord...

Those goddamn crows are playing dirty. Hopefully, a band of cows enters at some points and shows them what an animal without the "r" can do.

Here, have a rat stuffed with grease!

I knew it.

The crows are cheating.

That's for you to know and us to find out.

And now the continuation of Lunar Weaver's bedtime story.

Previously we were introduced to the squirrel/crow debate and how one intelligent, peace-keeping squirrel managed to settle who would win the right to all carrion in the forest...

Originally Posted by Vincent, Thunder God

Well, let's see now (a bed-time/tea-time hybird story, this should be interesting).

Once upon a time, there were several small furry animals gathered in a cave. The host, a guinea pig with a white apron circling her wide girth, brought out a platter of crumpets, butter, jam, and tea. As all of the furry creatures handed out the food to each other, the recently developing discrimination between the squirrels and the crows, who had harbored harsh feelings for each other after the infamous debate between who could eat the carrion on the plains, was soon evident.

The squirrels intentionally spilled the tea all over the crows, and the crows retaliated with thrown gobs of butter. The guinea pig observed with terror as slowly all of the animals entered into a table-wide food fight. Allies on both sides were soon covered witgh food. The host could only sigh and regret inviting the squirrels and crows for the same fight. At the point she had sent out the invitations she had not yet heard about the debate, which had occured mere weeks ago.

Suddenly one of the more good-natured squirrels, who had only half-heartedly entered the fray and was tired of the pointless disagreement, gathered the attention of the others with no little amount of effort. Finally, when the silence had fallen, he announced in his squeaky Squirrel-Language that the winner of several matches of strength, bravery and intelligence would be able to claim full right to the carrion. Soon translaters were exaplaining his propisiton between the animal races.

At his suggestion the guinea pig looked releaved that the fight had ended, but seemed doubtful that carrion could taste anywhere near as good as her crumpets. Evidently the squirrels and crows wanted only wanted it as stores for the winter... nobody really wanted to eat it, but in an emergency it would keep them alive. This would be an advantage over the winter for the group of animals that took claim of the scavenged dead creatures.

After much cawing, squeaking, baying and barking, they all agreed on the propisition. This war could not last forever...

The squirrel who had organized the three matches testing strength, bravery and intelligence, Iknuk, left late at night to prepare for the first challenge. In his tiny paw he held a nut he had dilligently painted gold. Under the moonlight he found his way through the sleeping forest, taking out his flashlight when the trees blocked out the natural light.

When he found the perfect location, he dropped the nut and partially hid it with various items on the forest floor. Only one small portion of shell could be seen, and only then from a certain direction and vantage point.

The next morning he explained to each team of animals that only one person from each was allowed to participate in this first challenge. It was also to be a blind pick so that neither team could cheat by choosing someone especially well-suited to the task. One agile, sharp-eyed crow named Strawb was chosen. In contrast, a slow-moving, burly squirrel named Chukinetch was chosen. Iknuk was obviously concerned; the crows' team member was much better suited to the task.

After Iknuk had explained the simple task, the two challengers prepared. As Iknuk shot the starting arrow into the sky, the two members left. Strawb took immediate flight and started a systematic search while Chukinetch lumbered about at a snail's pace. Iknuk tried not to look devastated.

It had only been 15 mintues before Strawb returned with the nut in his beak. Iknuk raised his bushy eyebrows and stared at the victory dances of the crows with open contempt. Iknuk was not suprised at Strawb's victory; he was suprised at the speed of it. By his estimations it should have taken at least an hour.

Iknuk sent out a team to find Chukinetch. They found him mauled to death, lying in a bed of fox fur.

Somehow it didn't add up. Chukinetch wasn't the smartest squirrel in the forest, but he knew the signs of predators, and he was also strong enough to create hiding places within trees and other objects, provided they were weak enough. There were several such possible hiding places nearby.

Something was wrong. Iknuk was a level-headed person and would not expect foul play without due cause, but now he was beginning to suspect the crows. It wouldn't look good to accuse them of anything, however; he needed more concrete proof. He had to solve this before the crows had forced a victory, or cancel the competition and risk worse discrimination from the crows, who would surely complain that it had been stopped due to their impending victory.

The whole affair was in danger not only of failing to stop the feuding, but of increasing it's intensity if he tried to shed light on his suspiscions.

What could he do know?

Originally Posted by Avast-yo-ho

Mustard?

Right you are.

Originally Posted by Vincent, Underdog

As thunder pealed across the sky, his booming voice was heard from the Heavens: "IT IS DONE!"

And the angels started singing:

"What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
what shall we do with the drunken sailor,
what shall we do with the drunken sailor,
early in the morning?"

And several other obscene songs.