RSL
has fought their fair share of battles
Lumberjack
Recognized Member

Maybe a cameo in the Ciddies?

It’s time to (SPOILER)break down and pop some nuts. Let’s all break down to the nut factory. The end. Spoiler ends here.

The Funniest Word of All Time in this Gigantic Universe is...

-(SPOILER)Swell-

I have commandeered RSL’s user notes.

i noticed the date as the 21st, and thought he was back then 8-) but it was 21st-9-06

Come Back!!!!!

Man, I wish. I really wish.

What's going on?

Good afternoon. I've been asked by a good friend of mine to speak on the subject of my father, as I believe his studies of cows found favour with the art establishment. I must admit, I can't see why. He was an entirely untalented man, and when I was a child, he used his cow pictures to frighten me as a punishment if I'd brought tadpoles.

Excuse my agitation, I've been paintballing. I have an extraordinary shockwave bruise on my inner thigh where I was shot at close range storming a fort. It features a bloody, mulchy centre, then an area of wrinkled whiteness where the blood was rapidly blasted outwards from the impact point, and finally a great corona of jagged purple marking where the rush was arrested by tissue, the whole thing being about the size of a yam. I'm considering making a photographic record. It's something to leave the children.

I grew up in a very humorous neighbourhood, so turned to bullying as a form of self-defence. It was all boyish high spirits, of course, and I seldom used my revolver in anger. It's all different nowadays. Our generation don't even seem to know the meaning of operoseness. The war - I forget which - brought many strange changes to our little piece of Wales. When I was 14, my brother joined the army. Not to be outdone, I joined the navy and the air corps, which was hard work but quite exciting, but after three or four months I grew tired of running back and forth each night, so I faked one of my own deaths. Of course, I was using an assumed name for Captain Caius Cassius, and that's where the problem lay. I was easily identified as both parties, and it was conjectured I'd done away with the Captain as part of an elaborate plot to capitalise on our close resemblance and gain an inheritance or somesuch. I could have settled the situation with a single telephone call to the Admiral, but I'd foolishly used the call to which I was entitled to ask my gardener to return a library book on my behalf, as I knew there'd be plenty of interest in the title, though I personally found it wholly turgid and so was indifferent to finishing. I remember quite clearly that it was late August, and they were going to shoot me. It was rather a pickle. I lost a lot of good friends after the war. Ferdy tried to explain they were only giving orders, but the authorities wouldn't listen.

I am not sleeping well at nights. I'm being haunted by MR James. Isn't leather marvellous? So pliant. I can't abide these artificial cloths. My tailor is well paid to use exclusively natural fibres. Lovely. I'm only 38. My grandfather left me 50 years in his will, and like a fool I rushed out and spent them all at once. Good Lord, I've just realised that road markings are a Morse-like language.

I enjoy long walks and have all my own hair. The bags are labelled in a clear and steady hand. I've outlived seven of my doctors, though I've never had to replace my refrigerator. I miss prize-fighting. There's something wildly envigorating about a raw, bare-knuckle clash, though often by the end I'd wish I stayed in the crowd. I suppose you could say I've had a full life, although, do you know, I firmly believe I could find that island again if only I had the time to really try. Anyway, I hope this helps any young people who might be thinking of running for mayor.

You left me a user note ages ago, saying my name was Chris, How did you know, I mean, i suppose you could have read my profile, but Egads!