CimminyCricket
is evolving!

It must be an exciting new experience.

Cimanim. Cim. How's being Roto's sidekick going for you?

Beaver Blade!!

oh...ok well i suggest you swallow a miniature woman who's on her period...she'll eat all the chocolate, and as an added bonus, you can say you were penetrated by a woman.

That was absolutely the greatest usernote I have ever received.

Today I woke up and ate penguin for breakfast. It was alright, but could use some salt. Penguin never really is as good as seal, but that's harder to get because of those "laws" or whatever it is they're called. I was never much for politics and I don't pay much attention to all that hookey-doo.

By ten o' clock, I was rushing to work. I was running late because this news story about Britney Spears lip-synching enthralled me with its new information. I had to speed to make up time, and some jerk cop pulled me over. Luckily, I gave him a sticker with a "" on it, and he was so pleased that instead of giving me a ticket he gave me an asspat.

So, I finally got to work. I dress up as Santa and ring a bell in hopes of collecting charity for a living. It's true that most people do this around Christmas time, but I refuse to be a conformist. I can wear baggy red pants and a false beard in summer just as easily as winter. For the record, I also trick-or-treat in April. I walk around nude and tell people that my costume is Fei from Xenogears. Besides being shot occasionally and one time being raped by a pack of beavers, it works out better then you'd think.

Later, I had lunch with my friend Cortez Caliato. There's a rumor going around that he's all in my imagination and I'm schizophrenic, but I can't be bothered with gossip. Gossip ruins lives, creates wrinkles, and is the sole reason that Korean children are born with fangs.

After work, I rode my pink Chocobo home. I got online and started playing some Diablo II. I waded through much spam and abbreviations, and finally I tried to strike up a conversation. I talked with a nice young man who was very spunky. He called me "fahgeht," which I assume is Italian for God. He then told me I suck cock, which I do rather well and was pleased somebody finally noticed my talent. I named him Spungy and asked him to be my BFF. He said that was "retarted" and that I should die of cancer. Since retarted is not retarded, I assume he was talking about some cereal that has a Cancer horoscope. I thanked him for the tip and will be buying some later.

Then I went to sleep and dreamed dreams. Dreams of Chimney throwing ninja stars at seamonkeys for my pure amusement. I wore a crown and clapped my hands and said things like "Carry on, chap." Then I woke up and a similar process repeated itself.

Fin.

I can't help you there. I can give you a plastic AK-47 that has a noisemaker that jams, or I can give you a translucent, neon orange water pistol.

SAPPENING?

Oggle.

Im your friend now!

Btw, I love your sig.

This is a user note for being offline.