drotato
is what the new kids refer to as 'awesomesauce'
can we sleep now?

Right now I feel lost and wrecked. It's like I have to re-build myself, I don't know if I'm going to be fine. But the weird thing is, by lying to me they were trying to help me. I think, first they assumed that I care what other people think of me. I care about things important to me. That's when the half-truths, lies and deception came about. Then I started not believing anything my profs and friends said. Then it started to get out of hand, they tried using systematic desensitization. But to me I was SO mad they were "testing/playing" with my mind and heart. I recently started a student association to provide students with mental health support. They got my executive team to also mess with my head, and even some of my research lab colleagues. It drove me to a point where I had went from and "internal locus of control" to an "external locus of control". I now don't trust anyone, let alone my self. I have this thing called "perplexity" from my "traumatic brain injury", and I had it under control UNTIL this happened. Now it has been exasperated so far that every decision I make I always second guess it and turn my choice over in light of a better solution. It's hard but I think I'm rebounding back swiftly. I don't know if I can forgive them.

Ive liked the same girl since summer of last year. She and my professor used psychological techniques to try and confuse me, control my behavior and drive me almost completely insane. Mind you this was also part of my professors doing as well, this went on for a whole school year. I didn't want to give up on her because I like her a lot. But I had a mental breakdown, because everyone I know lied to me and used my disability to their advantage. Now what they did is they all stopped talking to me and left me alone. That's the basics of it. For me to go in great detail I would have to explain everything, and it would be a mini book. In the end I have had people call me crazy, paranoid, stupid and insecure. Because of this incident I was forced to quit my research lab.

Nikki, I'm heart-broken.

;DDD

That would suit you quite well, actually.

Double liar!

Not even a little.

Lazy ass. x__x

Then stop being lazy!

MAKE HIM.