Fat Bastard: First things first: WHERE'S YOUR troutTER? I've got a turtle-head poking out. Dr. Evil: Charming Fat Bastard: I'm not kiddin'. I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it's SQUIDGY. Christ, I'm gettin' all emotional from it, ya know?
Fat Bastard: [to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.
Fat Bastard: Of course I'm not happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead. [on the verge of tears] Fat Bastard: I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself. Fat Bastard: [Farts] Sorry. I farted. It's a long road ahead
Number 2: Dr. Evil, can you continue with your plan? Dr. Evil: Of course, Number 2, our plan is SCOTTY DON'T. Scott Evil: Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass.
Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets? We could make trillions. Dr. Evil: Why make a trillion when we could make... billions? Scott: A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts.
Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him? Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
Austin: [referring to Felicity sleeping with Fat Bastard] Well how could you do it? Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my job. Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.
Yes, I agree, preparation H does feel good. On the Hole!
Scotty Don't
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