Levian
has a sparkling reputation
sly gypsy
Recognized Member

Me and Levian go way back. Remember back in 'Nam when you got blown to pieces, and I used my own teeth and the stitching from my underwear to stitch you back together using the legs I borrowed off of kind Vietcongs? And then I replaced the Vietcongs leg ever so kindly with wooden planks I stole off of pirates. In exchange for these wooden planks, I traded epileptic bananas, a rare fruit I came across several years in advance. Of course, coming across these bananas was not easy. I had to play strip poker against one of my fellows in the retirement home. I came close to winning, but when I was standing naked in front of him, I punched himout and stole his wheelchair, which subsequently teleported me a million years into the future. Of course, earth did not exists a million years into the future, so I went around time in a loop and shot out just in time to see that Robert Winslow whatever his name is professor dude who does walking with cavemen. Him and his cameraman were filming cavemen so I secretly stole their 4x4 time travelling 4wd Toyato Hilux, and left them stranded back in time. (My wheelchair was around somewhere, but I doubt they could use it). While travelling through the ages, I realised I didn't have a time travelling drivers licence, well, I did, but it got suspended after I was caught drunk time travelling. So I threw on the handbrake and my car blew up and I ended up in Medieval England, only to find it wasn't, it was 1960something England, I just ended up in one of those stupid medieval things they have in the park sometime. So I wasted some chick with my hands and ran fowards a bit. I turned sharply to my left and vomitted. In a desperate attempt to get home, I ate my own vomit. Mysteriously, I was throttled through space and frozen. I came crashing down to earth and landed in Levian's house. He was unforgivably cruel to me.. he wouldn't speak english to me (the only language I speak) he fed me ground up roadkill, (but with a wicked cranberry sauce) and he kept me in a cage and poked me with a stick.. I hope it was a stick. Sometimes he would electricute me, but after a while I got numb and the pain wasn't so intense. I begged Levian to travel to Jamaica with me so I could get the old mans wheelchair, and as we went out the door I grabbed a bunch of epileptic bananas which Psy had sent to Levian as a marriage gift a few years back. Anyway, we stowed away on a boat to Jamaica, and Levian kept me in his breastpocket. There, I made best friends with a cigarette, a dead mosquito and a few crumbs. During this trip, magical pirates were in Levians breastpocket every 2 hours so I used this chance to trade the bananas for some planks of wood, which may come in useful later. I invetoried them, and slept until we got to Jamaica and Levian briefly let me out. I convinced him to buy me some new underwear and also murder the old man with the wheelchair and sit on it. So we went through time to whenever the vietnam war was, and we were conceived out through labour of the sky, and landed on the ground. Because of this, I was released from my cage. I began to fight Levian, and we were glad. I mean mad. we fought for a while but it consisted mainly of slaps and hair pulls until I eventually slice Levians legs off, and began walking away. Never to see Levian again.

:sing: :yap: :laugh: :chef: :fphot:

Stupid sunglasses.

Well, maybe it's because I'm cool, or something Or maybe it's because I have a weird eye disease so I have to wear sunglasses constantly. It could be both really.

*eats* wirklich? echt.

For some reason, this smilie has always made me think of Levian.

NO THEY'RE MINE!!!!! MINE I TELL YA MINE..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 :scary:

:freak:™ :scary:™

Mango functions.

Calculator juice ^_^