Iceglow
is a blitzball legend
Steve Steve Steve Steve

Sleep with a chicken? RSL admitted he had done that. RSL is wierd at times but he believes in stopping illegal over-fishing which is cool.

To change the topic, I wish I had that signed Zappa autograph.

What I wouldn't do to have a Zappa signature.

I can, I will. I have to destroy the SH problem in me, now I am myself again yes it has stopped. Whilst the marks bother me it is more because I see them as a sign of weakness in me now, I can't be weak anymore. I'm going to find that emotional trigger that causes the SH and pull the pin on it, doing to destroy it now forever.

That's great to hear my friend. I had a feeling you would sort it out without therapy or any of that; your self-harm problem didn't sound as serious as some other's. (I'm in no way discounting your feelings, I just thought that you were strong enough to work through it.)

Keep thinking about it... that's what seems to be helping the most... you mulling over your attitudes, your emotions, and the help you're getting from your friends at work. It's great that you got some advice from the counsellor too; I know how much that helps me sometimes, even if the counsellor just re-asserts my own views about my problems; it's great to hear positive feedback that you've been giving yourself again.

Anyway, I've read everything and I'm happy that you're happy. Beleive me, I think you can definetly avoid SH for forever now.

Vincent, everyone in fact who is concerned for me. Even Devilman has sent me messages to show his concern now that did shock me a little.

I went in to work today and it helped me a lot. I didn't think it would. However I was wrong. I'm not going to SH anymore, I won't ever again hopefully.

Well how was work helpful I hear you cry? I'll tell youl...

Firstly all my managers and colleagues understand the situation, Vicki took half my duties away today to help me out a bit understanding that I wouldn't want to work much. Warren the duty in charge today he did me so many favours I owe him. Mitch (a guy who normally takes the mick out of me chronic) brought me breakfast without me asking him too I even had the money in my hand and he wouldn't let me pay, without even knowing what was up.

Ok well Boyband is brilliant friend at work, a couple of years younger than I but cool all the same and also doesn't mind breaking/bending the company rules for his mates. He went all top gun on me and decided untill I played pool properly and could beat him (which I can do when perfectly in the game) today I wasn't going to be allowed to stop, every round he won he just said "again" and re-racked them, must have cost about £4 by the time he was done. This ran over our allotted break time by 10 minutes but Warren cleared it up with our dept managers for us. Should have seen boybands face when I finally got in the game, he had been giving me 2 shots like candy on halloween night and then as soon as he stopped giving the 2 shots I started playing for real. We were both on the black and I had one shot, he had been playing doubles on the black and calling it each time so I decided to play too, the ball however was in the jaws of the pocket and should have never doubled in to another pocket. I looked at the table, looked at him, gave him half a smile before smashing the black in to the pocket jaw, doubling it all the way down the table diagonally to the other pocket and sinking it with a comment of "again?" lol.

Vanessa who I work with is also a youth counsellor part time when she isn't with us. She spoke to me today and told me what I thought I would hear, I don't need medicines to get me through this, I don't need counselling either or to be stuck in some stupid mental hospital. I just need to get on with things and for the most part have people who are detrimental to me gone or on the outside, people like my sister.

So how did all this help I hear you ask me?

It helped because I had a head full of things to consider. The bus in a way helped too. I couldn't get all the way home on the bus tonight had to walk half of it (the easy half thankfully.) I was listening to letters to you accoustic on loop. I love that song, so depressing and yet so great. Also depressing songs help me think and feel better in the long run. I thought about things. I never used to be all emo and cry over things I used to be tough like tempered steel, I used to fight for the things I loved not cry and beg for them. Funily enough thats what used to work for me too. I aint going to cry for the things I love or beg for them either. I am tempered steel, I am harder than a coffin nail. I've been to heaven and I've been through hell. I wanna go back to heaven sure, but I aint going to get there on my knees, I'm going to stride back there with purpose and determination and you know what, I'm going to do it with a grin on my face!

Don't self-harm Iceglow.

You can get over this with better ways than that.

We're with you here. We all want you to stop self-harming just like you do.

Burnout Takedown was indeed better then Revenge because Revenge is easier because of being able to thwap cars outta your way.

But! Revenge definetly gets harder as you progress

The soundtracks are crappy though. I always listen to my custom tracks. Heck of a lot better! SlipKnot all the way!

I was given that name by BoB or something But yeah, I bet I can beat you when it comes to filthy minds

In my country there is problem.
And that problem is chocobo.
They take everybody babies.
They never give them back.

Throw chocobo down the well.
So my country can be free.
You must grab him by his wings.
Then we have a big party.

Hallo