Ki Ki
is holding an ORB
Taco Vendor

Gibbons use their hands to eat.

Back to your roots, eh?

I use my hands.

Like a spork? o:

You can eat mine too, only if you use chop sticks!

Give me a fork so I can eat my words. It will need to be a special fork, one that can capture words.

I use spray paint with my left hand.

o_o Spray paint might be useful in your case Muppet.

am I alone in this misery?

I can't say that has ever happened to me before.