Meat Puppet
is smoother than a Sky Pirate. You know. Balthier. Not Vaan.

And you are happy with finding it on your own.

Stuff grows in the strangest of places.

Don't you want stuff? Don't you really want it?

I’d have to shave my head, though. Otherwise people would think I have given up. They wouldn’t want to give free stuff to a dying man! Or.. would they? Yes, they would. Because then they’d get it back. This is a brilliant idea, but a horrible scam.

You could probably score free stuff.

So people think I have gigantic cancers growing in & around my groin.

Perhaps you should start. Cough

If you're so busy eating dandelions, then

I don’t put potatoes in my pants, so I can’t give you an honest answer.

Someone in german class made a really lame joke out of that. Like

What do you call a potato in your pants?
A DICKTATER

Anyways. I would support you in your cause.