Meat Puppet
is smoother than a Sky Pirate. You know. Balthier. Not Vaan.

Nirvana

Nah, not that funny. I donated some clothes today. Put them in that bin. Considered dropping a small child in it, but decided that would just slow them down.

Do you work there

Sometimes...

It’s actually quite funny you mention the salvation army!

Hmm. I think I could probably manage something. if not, I am going to salvation army sometime soon and they must have goods!

Could you... dress up as a sportcaster while you do it?

I will also come up with some "Fun Facts" for your pleasure

It can work, but it’s usually horrible. And I doubt you have to hardware (or possibly even knowledge) to get the data onto your computer. Frame-by-frame it will have to be. Or a even a summary of the event will please me.

People kiss a picture of Elvis here in the lobby. Its pretty gross...