Meat Puppet
is smoother than a Sky Pirate. You know. Balthier. Not Vaan.

I.

There is a team who plays american football in my town but I doubt they would win against real americans (they are pretty poor at the sport)

Yes, they often do well in american football!

Their school sports teams must be unstoppable.

Oliver the chimp.

There is a high school around here that call themselves the mallards!

Another piece clicks into the puzzle!

That's a mallard, the King of all water-fowl!

Also, though you can't see it very well, the background picture on my computer is the same picture as is in my profile, which is also a picture of the person that gave me the hat and the duck.

No, that is the same hat. That hat was given to me by the same person that gave me the duck.