Meat Puppet
is smoother than a Sky Pirate. You know. Balthier. Not Vaan.

At least it keeps my family safe!

Don't worry, I know what I'm doing, I'm a trained professional, and we're working in a controlled environment.

Pistol whip.

You make me want to break your head in sometimes!

Jump on a broom and start to take a chunk out of the moon with a tinfoil spoon.

Or something.

Yes, and I felt a cold wind blow through the door, and it ruffled my hair. The skies darkened and the pale moon glittered and there came a shadow across my brother's face and other cliche things that people like to say etc etc

Did it send chills down your spine?

I think most of my family would feel uncomfortable anyways. When my dad saw him down there he kinda did this awkward laugh sort of thing.

Acquire the footage and show it at his 21st (people like doing things like that for some reason)

Nice, but I bet there was. It was a big store. Virgin Records or something maybe.