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http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhj6m44j_1dwmx3f
is it clear is it concise do I need to specify anything and elaborate further on points, etc etc I'm tired of writing this so don't point out flaws in argument as I don't have the time to come up with something else by now 8)
I find you use commas heavily and Ophelia makes me think of FF Tactics for some reason :p
I smell comma-splices. My English teacher would eat you, unfortunately. :[
The literary form known as the "essay" should die a painful, horrible death.
"Hamlet acts mad"
That's a poor statement. Change your diction.
Don't use the word "ditties".
The 2nd sentence needs to be divided some way. It's too long and confusing.
3rd sentence, after Laertes, change that comma to an emdash.
Well, that's an edit of the introduction. I'm too tired to edit the rest of it.
Overall, though, I agree with the other two people. Too many commas.