Boys and girls, and their first sexual impressions...

Alright, I frequently hear that girls in general look much more for a good personality than most guys do.
Let me elaborate: in my country guys can totally go attracted to a girl just because she looks good; it doesn't matter much if she seems to lack confidence or anything - if she's hot then that's enough for them to feel attracted.
However, this doesn't seem to be the case with the girls: they usually need to feel that air of self-confidence around a guy, and if you seem to have poor self-confidence then they ditch you very soon.

I find this pretty interesting: why is it this way?

Girls do it too.

Well really not all girls are like that but i still see what your saying. As for the answer to your question, i wish i could tell you but i have no idea, i dont get it either. :eep:

Humans, we rock.

Well, psychologically and biologically speaking, it makes sense for boys to be a bit more attracted to looks and girls to be a bit more attracted to personality.

For a man, the most important aspect in finding a mate is finding someone who will have many healthy children. Typically speaking, more attractive girls look younger or more fertile (large and bright eyes, feminine jaw, healthy hair, large breasts, nice waist to hip ratio), so it makes sense for boys to care a good deal (at least subconsciously), about a girl's appearance.

As for girls, the most important aspects in a mate are the abilities to provide resources and to be a good father. Hence, women might care a bit more about personality because it is a good indication of a man who will stick around and be a good dad. Of course, personality is particularly important in long term relationships. Women want nice men to have relationships with. Yet with one night stands, women will also care mostly about attractiveness - an indication of good genes. The logic is that a woman would prefer to have a one night stand with the attractive bastard because she's subconsiously drawn to his good genes - she'd love to have offspring who possess those same genes. Yet, for a long term relationship, a woman would usually prefer a nicer (and not necessarily gorgeous) man to be a good and dependable mate.

EDIT: I see you were talking specifically about confidence...Well, men wouldn't biologically care about confidence in a girl. If she's "hot," she'll provide effective genes in his offspring. But women might care about confidence in men because confidence is a sign of strength...as stated, a man who's confident will come off as an "alpha male" of sorts, and would be a worthwhile mate to have.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hhr1dluv

Well, psychologically and biologically speaking, it makes sense for boys to be a bit more attracted to looks and girls to be a bit more attracted to personality.

For a man, the most important aspect in finding a mate is finding someone who will have many healthy children. Typically speaking, more attractive girls look younger or more fertile (large and bright eyes, feminine jaw, healthy hair, large breasts, nice waist to hip ratio), so it makes sense for boys to care a good deal (at least subconsciously), about a girl's appearance.

As for girls, the most important aspects in a mate are the abilities to provide resources and to be a good father. Hence, women might care a bit more about personality because it is a good indication of a man who will stick around and be a good dad. Of course, personality is particularly important in long term relationships. Women want nice men to have relationships with. Yet with one night stands, women will also care mostly about attractiveness - an indication of good genes. The logic is that a woman would prefer to have a one night stand with the attractive bastard because she's subconsiously drawn to his good genes - she'd love to have offspring who possess those same genes. Yet, for a long term relationship, a woman would usually prefer a nicer (and not necessarily gorgeous) man to be a good and dependable mate.

EDIT: I see you were talking specifically about confidence...Well, men wouldn't biologically care about confidence in a girl. If she's "hot," she'll provide effective genes in his offspring. But women might care about confidence in men because confidence is a sign of strength...as stated, a man who's confident will come off as an "alpha male" of sorts, and would be a worthwhile mate to have.

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Great answer...talk about explaining it! Yeah it makes sense now i read it that way.

There's also cultural aspects. Until not long ago, girls weren't supposed to like sex or dating, they were born and raised to be good wives. So they were pretty much trained to ignore looks and go for the "good husband" types, i.e. fat wallet, good worker, etc... The male was encouraged to go out with many girls and "sow his wild oats" before he was ready to settle down and have a family.

Fast forward 100 years and the culture still has many of those lessons in it. Girls are still encouraged to look for husbands, not for sex or personal fulfillment. And boys still feel a bit of pressure to have sexual experience and to have many conquests.

Society just takes a long time to change.

Notice its all the girls saying the things above.

I'm a guy and I agree with them. Of course, their is always exeptions...like the whore population in my town...

I'm scared... my personality sucks :(

Maybe not but meh.... I just lost all confidence. :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Arctic_Ang3L

I'm scared... my personality sucks :(

Maybe not but meh.... I just lost all confidence. :p

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Why does your personality suck?
You only think it sucks, some girls might think it rocks :).
Don't lose confidence over girls, we are all a bunch of bitches sometimes =D

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Originally Posted by xxthebadgemakerxx

Don't lose confidence over girls, we are all a bunch of bitches sometimes =D

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Guys can be complete assholes too, though. I'm not like, saying this to you personally, but girls put each other down a lot. We're all too eager to say "All girls are mean and backstabbing I'm only friends with guys!" Also, theundeadhero is right.

I dunno how to comment on what you said in general since I don't have that much experience with life or anything, but I know for me, having self-confidence isn't all that important. I mean, I don't want someone who's constantly putting themself down, but being insecure or shy or whatever isn't going to make me walk away. That's dumb.

I don't think it's that black/white. There are many things that can make people attracted to one another, and looks are definitely one of them, but I don't believe you can divide it into how girls get attracted to boys and the other way around. Getting attracted to someone is very personal.

Free love, baby. Solved all the world's problems.

I could care less what the woman acted like, give me a woman with a body like jennifer Garner and I'm cool. As long as she doesn't act like New york.