Any one know any good puns?

The classic:
If i said you have a nice body.
Would you hold it against me?

_hehe_ so anyone have any good puns?

The cross eyed teacher had a problem controlling his pupils.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Two of those three are not puns.

Which two Please clarify?

Bah. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Savern Volaco

The classic:
If i said you have a nice body.
Would you hold it against me?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Odd Eye

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

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Those two.

Edit: I might as well contribute.

A man submitted ten puns to a pun contest, but none of them won. No pun in ten did.

Nice body...Hold it against me? I do believe it is one, i have been wrong before
Cross eyed teacher, could-ent control his pup-ils , I was sure that was one...huh! who knows I am not always bright.

The cross-eyed teacher one was a pun. Definition of a pun: "the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words."

Essentially a play on words, as it says.

kewl so did you write that from memory? erm Ouch! kewl name by the way

http://www.dictionary.reference.com is a fantastic thing.

hmmm kewl, haha I have to go get the cat out of the oven, meaning later I guess and God speed, for the final days are coming...or at least I am told by my adviser...the homeless guy living down my street.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana?

I like witty humor, and a pun is a type of witty humor, basically.

"Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest"

"There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'."

"It's better to love a short girl than not a tall."

THE JACKEL

You're pretty. Pretty ugly.

Good pun is an oxymoron.