Alright...this is LONG. This story is actually a true story and is probably about 95% accurate. It is split up into chapters the way it is because it is actually 15 separate live journal entries. I have just completed the story today. Here is what I wrote about this epic tale of bad food service.
Denny's Story: The Prologue
Lets travel back in time to the late 1990's. In the town of Homewood there lies a local and ever expanding pizza chain called Aurelio's Pizza. It was not uncommon that after closing the restaurant on Saturday for the kitchen workers to go out some place to eat. The destination of choice was usually a Denny's in the neighboring town of Hazel Crest. Why these misguided souls continued to visit this establishment is unknown. The service was horrible and the food was sub par even for Denny's. Sometimes and exchange of pizza for free food took place as it happens from time to time among restaurant workers.
The service was never so horrible that one would walk out and at one o'clock in the morning, the time to be picky has since passed. Their continued visits to the establishment eventually end up with one of the worst dinner services in the history of mankind. They have seen bad service in the past but nothing could prepare them for the sloth and incompetence that would occur on this fateful night.
Denny's Story: Chapter One
It was a closing at Aurelio's Pizza just like any other closing. Nothing out of the ordinary was to be had at the pizzeria. The time is now about one o'clock in the AM and the employees are looking to punch out for the shift. While punching out they start to converse about where they should go out to eat. Denny's is the restaurant that is brought up as an option and like the rats to the pied piper, the rest follow suit and agree to Denny's as their destination.
It should be noted that three of these individuals are under the age of eighteen and are out well after curfew. The names of these three individuals, as well as the rest of our cast, shall be given fake names as to protect the identities of these brave souls.
Frank is one the regular closers and is one of the best workers at the pizzeria and is recognized as such.
Jordan is a person who has not gone out with the crew many times if at all in the past. He is also an immigrant from the country of Jordan.
Craig is not new to the crew but he has not been working at the pizzeria long enough to be established as a true force in the kitchen but with his connections to Frank and his work ethic, he is traveling up the ranks fast.
Grover and Chris are the senior members of the crew and have been working at the pizzeria for quite sometime and have established themselves as such. Hard workers who get the job done and run the kitchen in place of questionable management.
The crew is now off to Denny's and upon their arrival they wait to be seated...
To be continued
Denny's Story: Chapter Two
Our crew of miscreants are now waiting to be seated. But there is something odd. Five minutes has passed and there is still no one at the hostess podium. Thankfully someone soon arrived and told them that they would be back in a minute to seat them. This isn’t out of the ordinary at one AM at a restaurant, so nothing ill was thought of it.
Unfortunately for our crew, this person never came back and ten more minutes had passed before someone else has come up to them asking if they have been helped yet. They respond that they have not and that someone said they would be right back over ten minutes ago. She says that if you just give her a minute then she would be happy to come back and seat them. Thanks have been said and they wait for this person to come back.
Just like before, no one has come back. It is as if some greater force is trying to warn them of the impending doom that will ensue of they choose to dine here this eve. They brush aside such notions and proceed to find the manager of the restaurant so that they can dine.
The manager is found and the situation explained. They are then promptly seated with menus full of unique breakfast delights. Drink orders are taken and things seem to be moving in the right direction for a pleasant evening out.
To be continued…
Denny's Story: Chapter Three
Now awaiting a variety of soft drinks from their waitress, they begin to mull over the menu. Flipping pages back and forth and trying to decide upon the perfect meal at the right price. A Slam, Pancakes, Waffles or even unique dishes such as Moons over My Hammy tempt them. As the converse and try to decide they begin to notice that quite some time has passed and that drinks have not been delivered and orders not yet taken.
Estimates put the time passed at roughly twenty minutes. Excuses could be had if this establishment was over flowing with customers, but, as it turns out, there are few tables with others seated. Frank exclaims “What the smurf is taking so long?”
Ever the optimist, Chris replies “I am sure there is some explanation as to why things are going so slow. Lets just try to be a little more patient.”
“Chris, we have been here for over an hour now and we still don’t have drinks…let alone our order taken,” Grover shoots back.
“Whats the rush? Where do we have to go? It’s two in the morning. Just relax. I am sure we will get our drinks and order taken soon,” said Chris.
They now continue to wait for another ten minutes before their drinks arrive and their order is taken. Both Frank and Chris decide to order the All American Slam which comes with sausage links, bacon, toast, hash browns and, most importantly, eggs covered in cheddar cheese. Grover orders the Ham and Cheddar Omelet. Jordan and Craig both order Pancakes.
The orders are now in and the waitress smiles and says that their orders will be put in and that it will not take long. Our group is now running low on patients and this night is far from over.
To be continued…
Denny's Story: Chapter Four
Some time has now passed and their food has not yet been served. Growing ever hungry, they continue to converse while trying not to think about the scrumptious feast that will soon begin. But their drinks have run low and their throats are parched. They being to hunt down a member of the waiting staff to refill their drinks. This should be no hard task, but tonight there are forces working against them.
After much searching they have come up blank. Chris as this point decides to take matters into his own hands. Temping fate and forging his own destiny, he takes everyone's glasses and gets refills himself. There is no one to stop him and he is successful as he expected.
With beverages that are full, they continue to wait for the bounty that will come in the future. The minutes continue to slowly pass as they continue to wait. It is now nearing an hour and still no food and then from across the restaurant, they see it. The food is finally coming. Things are looking up at last.
To be continued…
Denny's Story: Chapter Five
With their long awaited meal being placed in front of them they take a monstrous whiff of the aroma that is emanating from the hot plates. Yet something is amiss. They don't yet know quite what it is but they notice that they are devoid of utensils for eating. They kindly ask for some and are told that they will receive some shortly.
Knowing the track record for the night they will wait, but with food in front of them this wait will not last long. Not even ten minutes pass before they have had enough. They start to scour surrounding table in search of the flat ware they require. A spoon here and a knife there. They soon gather enough to begin.
As Chris looks down he sees that his eggs are still mostly liquid. The food is hardly cooked. The others are experiencing this same phenomena. They start to eat what they can as they are famished. Chris eats the bacon which is surprisingly cooked. It is good but there is still a lot to go through in his slam. He picks up a sausage link and it feels a bit cool. He takes a bit to find out that the center is still frozen. With his rage starting to fuel he turns to the eggs that are covered in cheddar cheese.
He uses his for to try and separate the uncooked from the cooked. When he is finished he proceeds to take a bite and that is when the true horror began. Craig saw the fire and brimstone that fueled the flames in his eyes. Craig knows not to impede the beast that is soon to be less he wished to not be long for this world. He quickly removes himself from Chris's path. Chris explodes from his seat with a thunderous rage. A demon has been unleashed.
To be continued...
Denny's Story: Chapter Six
As Chris's rage exploded in flames of agony, the restaurant walls buckled due to his unbridled force. He starts marching up and down the aisles swearing and cursing about the greatest of injustices that has been dealt to him. Parents are not even covering their children's ears for his voice is so thundering, they know it will do no good. What is this atrocity that could set one man off into such a rage? I'll tell you: American Cheese.
He was supposed to be served Cheddar Cheese on his eggs. American Cheese is the anti-christ of the dairy world and he did not want to experience the horrible nature of Satan's Bowels.
After his trance of rage had worn off he immediately scoped out the manager. This injustice cannot go without consequences! The manager is in the middle of a conversation with a police officer and Chris merely waits to be acknowledged. He knows yelling and cursing will get him no where fast so he tries to remain polite and continues to wait.
Five minutes pass before he is finally acknowledged, but it was not by the manager. It was the police officer who finally decided that he would depart for a moment so that the manager could take care of the customer. The manager has been disrespectful all night and has not delivered even passable service thus far. Chris continues to remain calm.
He brings the manager over to the table so that he can explain everything that is wrong with his meal.
To be continued...
Denny's Story: Chapter Seven
Now at the table, Chris begins to explain the very many things that are wrong with his meal before getting to everyone else's.
"The sausage is raw, there is no toast, the hash browns are not cooked, the eggs are not cooked and it has American Cheese on it," Chris exclaimed.
The manager queries back "Well, where is the bacon?"
"It was the only thing was cooked so I ate it," Chris replied.
The manager then proceeds to inform him that "Since you ate the bacon, you bought the plate."
Chris is befuddled in confusion. "I bought the plate?" he replies.
"You ate the bacon so you bought the plate."
"But there isn't even anything else cooked on this plate. This is food is not edible or safe for consumption."
"We can make it for you again if you would like."
Chris, knowing that there is no guarantee that the food comes out any better or faster than before, declines his offer. Although he is now curious about something...he bought the plate. "So you’re telling me that because I ate the bacon, I bought the plate?"
"Yes."
"So that means that I can do anything with -this- plate that I want, because I bought it?" Chris queries.
The manager now a bit perplexed responds "Yes?"
"Very well then, you may go," Chris responds while waving the manager away.
The manager begins to walk away and pauses for a moment to look back. He still doesn't quite comprehend what has just taken place. He then continues to walk away.
What could be going through Chris's brain?
To be continued...
Denny's Story: Chapter Eight
Having bought the plate, Chris takes his seat. He gathers his thoughts and then turns to Grover and says "Grover, I don't know what is going to happen but if I get arrested for whatever reason, it is your responsibility to get these kids home. You can go to my place and to drop my car off and my mom will give you a ride home."
"Come on Chris. Don't do anything stupid," said Grover.
"Grover, this service has been horrible. The food isn't healthy to eat and they except us to pay for it. I can't guarantee that I will not do something stupid at this point."
Grover replied "Alright, Chris."
With a devilish smile on his face, Chris turned to everyone and simply said "Do what you want. We paid for the plates after all."
Everyone started to eat what they could of their food as it had been over two hours already and they were quite hungry.
To be continued...
Denny's Story: Chapter Nine
The crew has eaten all that is edible on their plates and now they proceed to do what they will.
They turn plates upside down and pour syrup over it. They move the plates around to make sure it is getting good and stuck onto the table. They mix in some sugar into the syrup to make it harden that much more.
Chris tells everyone he will be back. He goes out to his vehicle to get a single penny. That is the tip they are leaving their server. By leaving at least a penny, you are letting the server know that you did not forget to leave a tip. It tells them that they were so bad that you went out of your way to leave the lowest available amount to them as a tip. To add injury to this insult, they dowse the penny in syrup and sugar as well and make it stick onto the table as well.
Now everyone is turning their attention to Chris's plate of raw ingredients. They fill the plate up with syrup, jams, jellies, sugar, butter and anything else they can find to put into this vile concoction. They stir it up good to make sure it is all mixed together.
After sometime has passed and they get bored of doing these things to the table, Chris asks if everyone is ready to leave. They look around at each other and they are satisfied. Chris collects money from everyone to pay the bill. He then turns to Grover and hands him the key.
"Take the keys and start the car. If I am not out in five minutes then get these kids home," said Chris.
Grover took the keys and everyone started to get up to leave. As Frank got up he felt there was something missing. He then conjured up a might loogie and let it fly into the concoction they had created. Everyone else then proceeded to walk out of the restaurant. As they were walking out the police officer had come back and Craig held the door open for him.
At this same time Chris was still at the table getting ready to leave when it hit him. He was not yet finished. He moved his plate to the end of the table so that it was hanging halfway off. He then raised his fist in the air and threw it down with a horrific force. He hit the plate and it, as well as the contents, went flying all over the walls, seats and floor of the area around it. Feeling satisfied, he goes to pay the bill. He says "Have a good night, officer."
He walks out the door and the night is over. They might not have known it at the time but this night would eventually become legend amongst their friends.
The End
Denny's Story: Epilogue I: Doing the Right Thing
It is now the next day and Chris is up and is reading the paper. He happens to come across the section about police reports in the area and it turns out Denny's has filed a report against the crew from the night before.
Chris, being the good samaritan that he is, proceeds to go turn himself in at the police station in Hazel Crest. He figured that he might as well go and get it over with and do the right thing. He did vandalize some of the property at Denny's after all.
He arrives at the police station and says "I am here to turn myself in."
"For what?" the officer responds.
"I was reading in the Police Bulletins that Denny's had filed a vandalism report and I was the one who did it, so I am here to turn myself in."
"Give me one second," says the officer as he goes to get the paper work. A bit of time passes and the officer tells Chris "You're free to go."
Blinking his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief, Chris asks "What do you mean 'I am free to go'? I'm not trying to get out of this or anything but I must say that I am curious as to why I am free to go."
"There was a police officer who was at Denny's last night and he told us that you had tried to defused the situation in a calm peaceful manner. As far as we are concerned they instigated you to that level and thus it is an open and shut case. You are free to go," the officer explained.
Feeling that he had taken the appropriate actions the night before, Chris says "Alright then. Have a good day officer," and walks out of the police station.
Justice has never tasted so good.
Denny's Story: Epilogue II: Small World
In the afternoon of the day after the incident at Denny's, Craig is on the train going to school. He meets a friend from high school on the train and starts to tell him about the events of the previous night. He explains the horrible service and uncooked food. He friend listens with a trance like state. Eventually Craig gets to the end of the story where the booth is destroyed.
His friend interrupts and says "THAT WAS YOU?!?"
A bit taken back and startled, Craig asks "Yeah...but how do you know about this?"
"I work at that Denny's and I worked in the morning today. I saw that booth and it was destroyed!"
"Oh man, I'm sorry. You didn't have to clean that up did you? I didn't know you worked there," Craig said.
"Hell no I didn't clean that :skull::skull::skull::skull: up. Some other people did it and it took forever."
"That's good that you didn't have to clean it up at least. I'm actually more surprised that it was left like that. We did that at 3 AM or something."
"3 AM?!" his friend replied, "No wonder you did that. They left it like that until mid morning and let everything settle in. I can't even imagine how horrible the actual service must have been."
"Well, whaddyagonnado?" said Craig.
"True. Well this is my stop. See you around," his friend said as he got up to leave.
"Bye and take care."
Craig, at this point, just began to reflect on how it really is a small world when we all seem to be connected to events like these without even realizing it.
Denny's Story: Epilogue III: Part I: Return to Hell
Four weeks has now passed since the incident at Denny's and the crew is going out to eat. This time the crew is about twice the size and the tale is of four weeks ago is starting to be told and spread amongst everyone like Legends of old. Having the vile experience still fresh in our minds; Denny's was not an option. Instead this group ventures towards an IHoP in East Hazel Crest.
The place is a dump but this is over looked as they are hungry and are still thinking that there is no way that this place could possibly be worse. Everyone is seated and given menus and as everyone starts to look for what to eat, they notice that the prices are a bit high. Talking ensues and people start to debate whether the crew should dine here tonight. Eventually someone spoke up and made a suggestion and one that no one would have expected anyone to say.
"How about giving Denny's another shot? It has been four weeks," said Steve with an unsteady voice.
"Are you serious?" Frank questioned.
"Why not? These prices are expensive and this place isn't the nicest anyways," Steve replied.
"Okay...So does everyone wanna go? Come on. Let's go!" Chris said as he started to stand up.
Everyone left the IHoP and piled into the cars. They are now venturing back to Denny's in hopes that service is at the very least decent this time. A new adventure has begun.
To be continued...
Denny's Story: Epilogue III: Part II: Laying Down the Law
The crew pulls up towards Denny's and doubt starts to set in, but it is too late for that now. The night is not getting any younger and there are a lot of people who are craving the tactile touch of food in their mouths.
They enter the establishment and are seated rather quickly and given menus. This time the booth is a double wide and everyone is starts to converse and look over the menu. While this is going on the manager paces around and is keeping an eye on us. He senses that something is amiss but can't quite put his finger on it. He continues to pace as he works up the courage to confront the group or rogues.
He pulls up a chair from another table and takes a seat next to Chris.
"You guys work at Aurelio’s, don't you?" the manager asks.
"What gave it away? The aroma of pizza emanating from us or the fact that more than half of us are wearing Aurelio’s t-shirts?" Chris snidely replies as he turns away and goes back to conversing with the others.
"Well, I just wanted to talk to you guys about what happened the last time you where here."
"You actually remember? Good for you," said Chris as he continues to turn away again.
The manager starting to become a little frustrated says "If there is a repeat of last time then I will be forced to call the police."
Chris turns to him and replies in a dead serious tone "Well, let me put this in terms you can understand. There will not be a repeat of last time as long as we get what we came here for; decent service and food. That means that the food is to be fully cooked, we are to be asked if there is anything else we need, the food will be delivered in a timely fashion, our drinks will be delivered in a timely fashion and if we want refills then we will get refills just as fast, dining utensils will be provided and they will be clean, our check will be given to us when we are ready to leave and there had damn well better be cheddar cheese on my slam this time. If all of these things are met with out incident then there will be no repeat of last time. If not then I will burn this mother smurfer down and call the police myself. Now, you may go," says Chris as he waves off the manager.
The manager just sits there in disbelief of what he has just heard. He continues to sit there and a minute later Chris notices that he still has not moved and says "I said you may go," as he shoos him away again.
The manager gets up and leaves and now they wait for a server to come and begin to take their orders.
To be continued...
Denny's Story: Epilogue III: Part III: Redemption
The crew is ready to have their order taken. Minutes after the manager left them a server has come over to take their orders. She takes drink orders as well as entrée orders right away. She is courteous and kind and says she will be right back with everyone's drink orders.
Minutes later she actually returns with the drinks. The crew is astonished. "This must be some sort of record," one of them comments about the speed in which the drinks were served. After the last time, the crew remains skeptical about whether Denny's can actually deliver a good service to them. They continue to talk and converse while they wait for entrées.
Some of the crew have asked for refills and they were delivered back to them in less than a minute. Denny's seems to be passing the test tonight. Everyone is satisfied but the real test is still to come; the entrées.
About twenty minutes after the ten or so orders were taken, the food is already arriving. This has blown everyone away. Everyone got their food but with such speed has come a mistake. Steve has not received his entrée, as they have forgotten to make it. They say that it will be taken care of right away as they collect drinks for more refills.
The server returns with the drink refills and dining utensils and tells them that Steve's order will be up soon. About two minutes later Steve is served his entrée.
Everyone is enjoying their meal and the food is cooked correctly and has all the right ingredients on it including the ever so important cheddar cheese. Speculation begins to build at the table that everything is going so smoothly due to the incident of last time. Whatever the reason, no one is complaining. Some speculation revolves around how they made Steve's entrée so fast. Some think they might have taken the same entrée from a different ticket to appease the crew but no one knows for sure.
After everyone is done eating they talk for a bit more and continue to get refills. When they signal for the check, it is delivered immediately. They pay and they leave. Completely satisfied and amazed at the service of this night, many consider it to be as close to waiting perfection as humans can come.
To this very day those of the crew who are still around consider this night to be some of the best service they have ever had. Whether it was just a fluke or fear that gave them great service is anyone’s guess. But make no mistake about it; this was a meal for the ages.
The End
I hope you enjoyed the story. It has become a real legend amongst my group of friends :D
