Record of... War ("shipping" and "handling")

I know I'm not the only one who likes to "ship" likeable characters in RPGs and I'm not the only one who gets disappointed when those ships don't sail.
Is there anybody else out there who wishes there were more true action/RPG games that let you control the path of character's love-lives and then actually get something out of it?
Record of Agarest War showed some promise, but I'm just personally sick of stratarps. (SPOILER)Another problem I have with the concept of "Soul Breed" within the game was that all of the protagonists came out the same gender. I get that it's difficult to carve branching storypaths that allow for a new female protagonist to romance a male counterpart. I get that it's easier to make the first primary character one gender rather than allowing the player to choose before beginning which would involve an entirely different scenario. On the other hand, I don't care. Easier just means less interesting.
Fable II tried it's hand and didn't fail too miserably, but despite all the rumors I've read, my kid certainly never grew up at any point from the beginning to when I beat it. Left me wanting.

Granted, these are the only two games I could think of that weren't just straight dating sims...
If anyone can think of anymore, feel free to mention them.

Any BioWare game after the original Baldur's Gate (at least I don't think there was romance in BG. Definitely was in BG 2 onward though). And I know Obsidian continued the tradition in Star Wars: KotOR 2. I haven't played Alpha Protocol, but it wouldn't suprise me if that had a romance option or two as well, considering. Same with Fallout New Vegas

^ There are several "romance" options - but none of them (from what I've played) really go beyond impressing someone enough to get them into bed (a la James Bond), which is generally all gamers want (or should want) from a romance system anyway. BioWare do it, too, but I find their execution so hilariously sad that I can barely sit through the conversations. I'm biased of course, because I find something very stupid about attempting to "win over" a romance partner in a video game. Most conversation options lead towards some kind of gameplay reward (or progression). Romances get... what? Awkward sex scenes? Pixellated pillow talk?

On the other hand, if it's written properly (as a correct story - with a beginning and an end involving carefully defined characters - rather than as a series of calculated dialogue options) I'm all for it.

That's my gripe. I like the idea of being able to live out an actual life in an action game. Not just make the "wrong" or "right" decisions, but decisions that have varying effects on the circumstance.
One example I would make is for the varying results of forming a relationship. Maybe it results in having an ally who can give you better items when you stop by. Maybe it results in a powerful partner in battle. Maybe it results in some kind of union ability.
For me, there are two draws to this kind of genre. I'm an actioneer and need me some kung fu. But I also want to see some real life breathed in.
The game I want is most likely something I'll have to wait for. Until the X36SNP is developed and has the processing power to run a faux-life simulation of my standards. Either that, or maybe someday they'll release the Imaginator which would somehow run the whole fantasy off your own brain's processing power.

Well, Kung Fu itself is pretty rare in video games. Jade Empire springs to mind, and it was probably the last really good martial arts game. Also happened to be an RPG, with a romance option, developed by BioWare. But it only scratches the surface of what you want. Personally it was their least enjoyable game to me so far. But everyone else seemed to adore it