Printable View
This is the CR Discussion thread, feel free to discuss what you like and dislike about the story, ask questions about pronunciations or places or people. In case you can't guess, I am rewriting FF1 and giving the characters backstories, emotions, and other things. I am adding places, people, events, and romances. Hop to it then.
I moved your thread to the Writer's Corner. That's what it's for, fanfictions and short stories.
The names. x.x I don't know if it's cause i'm a cynical party pooper but the names turned me off the entire thing. They were so... "unique" that I immediately got disinterested. Usually when people use unique names, they are trying to be different so hard that it ruins the story in many places.
And your prologue introduced some big moments but kinda skipped over them. What you briefly touched on could have been expanded for a emotional one-two-punch. But you didn't.
Chapter 1 is shaping up to be much better. I will consider changing some of the names
I think unique names are fine, as long as they have some sort of meaning or connection to the person/city/world (or just be like LotR).
I think it's pretty good for now, but I'll wait for the next chapters to give a thorough opinion. :p