Flies on the floor... after being poked out by an umbrella

Does anyone else get royally pissed off by people with extremely poor umbrella-handling skills?

Being six-feet tall, a lot of people I encounter are around "umbrella tip" height. How can you not see me coming??? Please can you just raise your brolly slightly to prevent me from having to wear a pirate-style eye patch for the rest of my life?!

Can anyone suggest an effective way of combatting these brolly-warriors?

The only thing I can think of is wearing a goalie's hockey mask on the way to work. Though people may give me a wide berth that way anyway...

Swing your arms in wide circular swimming motions. Any umbrella or person in your path will be sorry.

Lul.....brolly ;D


I'm only 5'2", so I'm way under "brolly" height. I've never had to experience, so no advice from me, mate.

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Originally Posted by Happy Noodle Boy

Swing your arms in wide circular swimming motions. Any umbrella or person in your path will be sorry.

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I think if I combined this technique with the hockey mask then I'd definitely be safe!

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Originally Posted by fierytempest

Lul.....brolly ;D


I'm only 5'2", so I'm way under "brolly" height. I've never had to experience, so no advice from me, mate.

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I've just realised the British term "brolly" may be a little colloquial! You're very lucky to avoid these attacks, FT. Please be careful the next time it rains though, anyone around the 5' 6" mark will be in immediate danger from you...

I'm short. And it never rains where I live! So I don't know that feel.

I live in a glorious place where it never rains.

It just snows.

5'10" myself and I never really have to deal with this. I don't live in the city (Chicagoland area), so I don't even see people with umbrellas too often.

I would suggest carrying a small flamethrower with you. If an umbrella gets too close and hits you, just burn it down so a lesson can be learned.

The lesson of a slow painful death from a full body staph infection after the third degree burns covering 80% of the victim's body don't heal correctly?

I actually liked the extreme nature of Sephex's suggestion... until Sharky's post made me appreciate the consequences that may arise from following through with this.

Something not involving any kind of criminal conviction for myself would be ideal... though I like Sephex's style!

Hey there, assumption Andrew.

I viewed my post as another positive to encourage you to follow Sephex's methods.

Nothing hammers home a lesson like mulling it over in the ol' noggin while lying on your death bed.

Umbrella etiquette is dying. I usually bring this thread up about the same time each year because it always smurfing rains on the Sunshine Coast and nobody knows how not to be a prick. The few covered walkways are cluttered with people using umbrellas. They push you into the rain, wave the damn things around if you get close, and don't offer to share a large one with a stranger like nice people would. Also seriously if you're approaching a taller person, step aside a little bit. Generally my head is down and I'm looking at my feet so the rain doesn't stab me in the eye and instead I get a smurfing umbrella spoke in my head. Thanks guys, that really makes my day.

I don't use umbrellas because I like getting rained on and the little buttons to close the umbrellas scare me so I have never had to worry about accidentally stabbing someone in the eye with one.

i don't use umbrellas because i'm a man.

lol misandry

anyway when I see tall people I raise my umbrella. I'm courteous like that.

LOL pg courteous. as if

Being 6'4" I know how you feel Bubba, the easiest way to avoid this is the faithful pusher technique, just walk along and if an umbrella comes near you push it out of the way so the person beneath gets wet, you get the warm glow that you pissed of said asshole who walked along not looking where they were going and your eyes stay poke free.

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

The lesson of a slow painful death from a full body staph infection after the third degree burns covering 80% of the victim's body don't heal correctly?

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Yes.