Let Me, Not You, Play Realms of Arkania 3: Shadows Over Riva
My friend said on Facebook LP's are for loser. I'll show her!
Realms of Arkania 3: Shadows over Riva is a German computer RPG from about 1995 I got on Good Old Games for like, $7. Seriously, go to gog.com and pick a game. You will be happy. Anyway, Riva runs on DOS-BOX and has aged terribly. I have never played much of it, and yet I will do a blind LP of this game. Enjoy!
Episode 1: Party Creation and Why Manuals Are Your Friend
I am 1/4 German. However, that doesn't mean I inherited the meticulous search for perfection of many of my relatives. I'm beginning to understand why Germans are considered so uptight. This game has an incredibly micro-managing attention to detail. You need to feed your characters. You need to give them baths. You need to make sure they have a comfortable place to sleep on. You need to make sure they have jackets when it's cold outside. This game is annoying in that regard, and the previous games in the series were even worse, believe it or not.
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In this game, you create a 6-character party. However, simply selecting a class is apparently an outrageous concept. Obviously, you need to roll ridiculously high numbers for certain positive AND negative attributes to create a character of a certain class. *sigh* I literally referred to this with every character, hence why the game is Windowed in later captures, as constantly referring back to the manual for every goddamn thing is a pain in this ass when using a DOS Box game.
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This is the start menu. I choose Novice because I'm a pussy. No, Pike, even I am not that hardcore.
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This is the start menu, actually. See those ugly mothersmurfers? You start with a default party that I really, really detest. Default parties in CRPG's can suck my nut. They always, always, are either titty and/or boring as hell. I am neither, so...
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I removed them and permanently deleted them [TO HELL!!!!] I'm making my own party, and taking this head-on!
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When you create a character, you can choose to either take basic stats for a class or roll the stats yourselves. I chose the latter because it usually gives me higher stats and more flexibility. Oh, and it takes smurfing forever because each time you roll bad stats you can either fiddle with your stats, requiring you to raise two negative stats, like avarice or necrophobia, for every positive stat, like Charisma or just re-rolled. Of course, I end up having to do both.
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This is my first character. The positive stats, like most good things, are on the left. The stats, from first to last, are Courage, Wisdom, Charisma, Dexterity, Agility, Intuition, and Strength. The bad ones are Superstition, Acrophobia, Claustrophobia, Avarice, Necrophobia, Curiosity, and Violent Temper. Whew!
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This happened a lot. I was angry.
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After much, much, bad luck and possible methamphetamines, I created my party. In case you haven't noticed, the people in this game are really, really fugly. Now, each character in further detail. Don't get too attached...
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My warrior, Freya, is pretty strong, but she also has the highest negative stats by far. However, she's solidly powerful, and somewhat nimble as well. Her Charisma is an 8, meaning that is one ugly mothersmurfer. She does have a nice, derpy smile, though. And a hat. A hat!
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Jiro's basically a ranger. He's a highly flexible character, mostly excelling at scouting and long-range combat. He's got fairly low negative stats, and not a single positive stat in the single-digits. His only problem is that he doesn't excel at a whole lot, though. He won't be able to take or deal as much damage as Kaycee. His hat's better than Freya's though. So he's got the headgear thing in the bag so far.
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Yes, I am a man. I has no reason not to choose such a laughably strange portrait. I am weak as trout and my negative stats are troublesome, but I've got a high Wisdom and Courage. I'm definitely not a melee fighter, as Druids are spellcaster preferring using a versatile set of spells. Also, I have no hat. Those lips!
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Shlup is a rogue, meaning she's fast, spunky, versatile, and a smooth-talker. Her negative stats aren't terrible, though her necrophobia worries me, but her other stats are good, if a bit spread-out. Her low Strength will cause problems when she's in the fray, so she's not an ideal front-line combatant. Also, no hat! Nyah!
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Pike has a hood! Hoods win! Pike wins the headgear war! Pike is a weak little trout, having the physical build of a box of Kleenex. She has an insane Wisdom, though, meaning she will pwn at spellcasting. Also, why is weight measured in ounces? What the smurf, Germany?
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MILF is a gorgeous man. However, he has the lowest negative stats of the group, which will mean not much will effect him that would effect the others. Other than Charisma, which will make him a great healer (Elves' speciality), he is pretty unremarkable, or downright bad, in most other areas. However, he will be back flinging arrows much like Jiro, so he should okay as long as he keeps his gorgeous good looks away from the monsters.
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This chick is annoying. She's squinty-eyed and her voice actor sounds like a virgin nun having her first orgasm. Again, Germany.
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Oh no. Looks like you're just passive-aggressively telling me to clear them out. Come on, lasy, we're (barely) adults. Just tell me to do it, you shrewish harpy-whore.
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Well, don't brag or anything. Also, why won't you give me either? Anyway, I press end talk and I enter the ginormous harbor city of Riva to seek my fortune or death, depending on how much I suck...
Episode 2: Shopping! Riots! Other Stuff I Haven't Done Yet Because I Haven't Played The Game Yet!
