What the smurfing hell, brain!?

You know how sometimes things just pop into your head and you say them, I was walking around the kitchen a minute ago and my brain told me to say:
Who wants to have sex with me

I barely stopped myself from saying it. I hate you brain. I hate you so much.
Reminds me of times where I see someone sitting on a ledge or in front of a fire and my brain goes, Hey, shayne, you should push them. You should push them right now.

I'm not exactly sure how to make a topic out of this, so let's just see what the next person says.

My brain does not do this because I am not insane.

I do sometimes have a problem with impulse control, especially in the car. I say awful horrible things and would hit everyone if I could.

The other day I was taking the dogs for a walk at the park and my brain suddenly said "hey, throw your phone in the lake." I barely caught myself before I tossed it. smurf you, brain.

I have poor impulse control at times. I quite often imagine people getting into terrible car accidents because they cut me off or generally are terrible drivers.

I have poor impulse control at work because my team will be involved in SUPER TOP SECRET projects that other people can't know about and sometimes I get the urge to talk about them but remember at the last second that I can't :(

I usually just blurt out into random humming. There was one incident where I'd just tried a new chocolate bar and said something along the lines of "oooh heaven just came in my mouth" which looking back at it is very innuendo - but at the time that was lost on me much to the amusement of the people around me. :yuck: (and I'm... leaving myself wide open here too)

When having heated "debates" with managers at work during out team meetings my brain also sees fit to just proclaim my spontaneous reaction - which has landed me in a spot of bother a couple of times.

Who wants to have sex with me

I KID

I think about crazy things a lot actually. it may be a problem. I've never acted on any of these impulses, though, since they usually involve ME jumping out in front of XYZ

I will occasionally catch myself talking out loud, but they are legitimate questions like...

"Did I remember to___"
"What exactly was that dream about?"

I hate when I do that in public.

Intrusive thoughts - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I make a lot of impulse buys on Amazon and then cancel it after I've thought it through. Thank god that you can cancel an order, unlike Ebay. :(

Quite often I have violent thoughts about people who don't know how to walk or drive. Thanks goodness for creativity. The whole point in art is to channel your aggressive and sexual thoughts in to something more productive and acceptable.