Computer troubles: Intel Graphics troutset

This isn't a major issue, but it's bothering me nonetheless. My troutey laptop has an Intel GMA X3100 inside it. It's one of the better graphics chipsets, so I can play some nice old games like the Thiefs (Thieves?), Morrowind, and some of Sid Meier's stuff. I'm pretty happy.

But I can't update it. It's stuck on these settings:

Driver Date: 23/09/2009
Driver Version: 8.15.10.1930

It really bugs me that it's so out of date, despite the fact that Intel don't update their drivers anyway - for example, I know I'll still be stuck with WDDM 1.1.

I would very much like to update this driver. Anybody heard anything about this issue before? Know any possible fixes? Is it possible to punch software in the face?

e; Ho-hum. I may have it figured. Apparently Windows 8 came with its own updated drivers that Intel haven't bothered releasing. For whatever reason (I can't really remember what I do with this laptop because I rarely use it), I must have knocked them back to the second latest ones. Which were 2009. Because Intel. :monster:

Ewww intel.