Worse is better, keep it going.

[10:17] Danielle's an alcy
[10:17] nein!
[10:17] she's cruisin' for a boozin'
[10:17] sinkin' with the drinkin'
[10:18] she's losing her ticker to the liquor
[10:18] she's a hog for the grog
[10:18] she's doing more winin' than dinin'
[10:19] does more drinkin' than blinkin'
[10:20] gettin' rough on the hard stuff
[10:20] on a course of sauce
[10:21] deals with more fluid than a druid
[10:22] gotta throttle the bottle
[10:22] staying true to the brew
[10:23] a bit loose on the juice
[10:23] not bellating the intoxicating
[10:24] having more than a ripple of the tipple
[10:25] Downs the schnaps with the chaps
[10:25] gets frisky with the whisky
[10:26] gonna mooch all the hooch
[10:26] her sex on the beach is never out of reach
[10:27] Gets her skirt off for some smirnoff
[10:27] buy her drink from a creep so long as it's cheap
[10:28] Holy moly she loves her stoli
[10:28] rushin' for the Russian
[10:28] always with her it's time for... sp'rrrrrits
[10:29] whe she's able she drinks red label
[10:30] she's more than fine with some moonshine
[10:30] gets off her arse by sipping the glass
[10:30] gives her body to the toddy
[10:31] she'll drinks it doubly when on the bubbly
[10:31] Drinks some red every night before bed
[10:31] It's Daniel's bane when she's on the champagne
[10:32] always trouble when she has a double
[10:32] if she drinks from that glass, she'll be showing off her ass
[10:32] but he gets to see her teatos when he buys her mojitos
[10:33] holy mackery when she's on the strawberry dacari
[10:34] It gives dan the hots when she's downing the shots
[10:34] goes round the block on aftershock
[10:34] off to the drink dealer for her tequila
[10:35] To my surprise, she enjoys the tequila sunrise~
[10:35] thinks I'm a hunk when she's totally drunk
[10:36] goes from place to place getting off her face
[10:36] gettin' giggly and walkin' wiggly
[10:36] There ain't not stallin when she's out pub crawlin'
[10:37] drinks a bunch after spikin' the punch
[10:37] Just take the hint, and get her some creme de mint~

It's not a party without some Bacardi.

she'll go to bits without her manischewitz

She'll give in to a shyster if they procure some Jagermeister.

She won't be able to nap without her night CAP*.

She'll lose her HAT* without a vodka--stat.

She'll eat her Chapeau without her Chateau
de Fontpinot, it's cognac, you know
or maybe you don't get this stuff, because you're not Cunning enough.
Your girl is looking dour, without her whiskey sour,
don't worry, though, the Cunning Caps will mend your lapse,
and feed her schnapps and try on hats,
for we are super-sonic like a slick-ass gin&tonic,
we are the Houdinis of disappearing vodka Martinis.

We raise our glass and clink, to fine hats and hearty drink.

*Brought to you by your friends at the Church of Holy Hat.