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Top 5 Funniest Moments of Final Fantasy VII
I think something a lot of people can agree on is that Final Fantasy VII had a sense of humour. It may not have been everybody's sense of humour, but it was there. Loud and clear. That is something I can respect in a game. Not taking itself too seriously, taking a few moments to encourage us to smile, give the characters a break from the tragedies they go through. I encourage you all to put on your silly hats and join me as I list the moments that made me laugh most.
5. Disguised as SOLDIER
During Disc 1, the party sneaks on board a ship in Junon to cross the ocean to Costa Del Sol. In order to blend in, they all dress up in some Shinra uniforms that happen to be lying around. Most of them pull it off pretty well. Two of them however...
Those pictures sadly do not do the moment justice. On the left we have Red XIII. Not only does he have a snout sticking out, not only is there the problem of the very obvious tail, but he walks like... well like a four legged animal trying to walk on two feet. Just to make it even more amusing, he thinks he looks just fine.
Quote:
.......... It's me. Red XIII.
I'm a little woozy, but I shouldn't get caught.
Humans only look at appearances anyway.
Anyway you look at it, I'd say I make a fine human being.
The even funnier part is that apparently he does make a fine human, as no one seems to notice the soldier with the tail and the very severe yeast infection skipping along the upper deck.
Meanwhile, Barret the marshmallow man is standing right near the bridge, staring in on Rufus and Heidegger. He begins yelling/growling in anger and shaking his fists, which is ridiculously hard to take seriously in light of his current outfit.
Surprisingly, no one manages to spot them and the alarm is sounded for something else. Shinra is on top of their game.
4. Cloud dates Barret
A magical moment between two men. During a night at the Gold Saucer, Barret's insists that he and Cloud go for a walk. Alone. Luckily for them, it's enchantment night and all attractions are free! It's almost as if the universe set it up for these two to have a magical night!
The two of them then take a wonderful ride up to spot the sights of the magnificent Gold Saucer. Fireworks! Lights! The two sit in silence for several minutes, not needing words between them. Just enjoying each others company.
The two then begin to discuss the ladies of Final Fantasy VII, presumably to reassert their masculinity. After discussing Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie, Barret for some reason jumps to the conclusion that Cloud must be a pedophile. I'm guessing because of the hair.
Barret then thinks of Marlene, how much he misses her and how much she would love the fireworks. This emotional sentiment makes it rather hard to laugh at him. But fear not, for he soon begins the Cloud date bashing once again! Then, before too long, he begins to shoot the fireworks. Good ol' Barret.
3. Cloud the Crossdresser
Classic moment. A heroic start, Tifa needs rescuing from a pervert. Cloud, as her friend, decides to go rescue her. Noble intentions, not too far removed from most RPGs. But then somewhere something goes horribly wrong.
This moment starts off innocently enough. A dress here, a wig there. Before you know it, Cloud is in full on drag, becoming a prettier woman than anyone would have ever expected. How he fits a wig over his hair is beyond me. Once fully equipped as a pretty pretty lady, Cloud and Aeris head over to rescue Tifa from Don Corneo and his gyrating ways.
The situation accelerates from there in to some racy humour of love between a man and a man disguised as a woman who really doesn't care to be there.
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The romance between Cloud and Barret
is hinted at very early on
Cloud eventually gives up on the shenanigans and the trio threaten to remove a very sensitive body part from Don Corneo through violent means should he not answer their questions. This actually sounds pretty terrifying if not for the ridiculousness of the whole situation. The big man isn't without a backup plan however, and drops our heroes through a trap door he conveniently has installed in his room. Did Don Corneo have the last laugh? No, I'm pretty sure we did.
2. Palmer Hit by a Truck
Once the party reaches Rocket Town, the height of creative naming, they decide to give Palmer a very stressful day at work. Palmer, who is stealing the Tiny Bronco, is intercepted by our game crew who demand the tiny flying vehicle. Palmer doesn't take this sitting down, and instead engages the party in an epic battle during which he does a little jig while shooting at Cloud and co.
Before long, Palmer begins mocking the party, only to have the Tiny Bronco begin to roll towards him as he isn't paying attention. Fortunately for him, he ducks just in time and manages to run away.
Unfortunately for him, he gets hit by a truck on the way.
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The best part being the truck came out of nowhere
and hasn't been seen since
1. Mukki and the Honey Bee Inn
Of course this is number one on the list, everybody knows this moment! Cloud goes in to the Honey Bee Inn, ignorant to what lies ahead. He picks a room, not entirely sure why, just knowing something is compelling him to do it. Almost like some kind of outside force was controlling him, urging him in to this place.
Which room would he pick? So many possibilities. Eventually he settles on one. The group room.
He goes in, waiting for whatever fate may befall him. And what fate is that?
Now don't get me wrong, I find men very attractive. I also tend to find them more attractive in smaller, less intimidating numbers.
On the bright side, the gentleman prove most polite, seemingly trying to make him feel welcome. They even compliment him on his physique, smile at him politely, and call him friendly names like 'buddy' to help him feel more a part of the group. On top of that, they offer to have him spend time bonding with them in the hot tub. We all know hot tubs are expensive, so it is very sweet of them to include him.
While in the hot tub, they encourage Cloud to let the water soothe his heart and take an interest in him, asking questions about him such as his age. In fact, these gentleman prove so kind that they even off him to join their club, which includes a trip up to a cabin! Mukki seems to care so much for his new friend, he even gives him a pair of bikini briefs!
Really this was a beautiful scene in male bonding. Men, gathered together. Bonding over guy stuff like hot tubs and cabins and... bikini briefs.
Hold on a sec, I think I may have misinterpreted the entire meaning of this scene...
Those were the moments in Final Fantasy VII that made me have a good chuckle. There's nothing like some good ol' fashion truck assault humour to tickle the funny bone. What are some of your favorite funny moments from Final Fantasy VII?
