Hey you! Do you ever wish you could pull off short shorts like High Summoner Yuna? I'm looking at you, Ralph, I've seen your summer wish list. Well, good news for you, I've uncovered the secrets to gaining a bootylicious bottom for all of your bottom needs. Throw away your seat cushions and follow these few easy steps!
1. Be Born With Good Genes
Many of us don't really do our homework before we are born, but, well... start. Do you research before selecting a womb from which to emerge in to this world. Pay careful attention to income level, medical history, and, of course, figure. You think everyone can have a bountiful booty? No.
2. Jeans also help
By some jeans. Ask your sales associate which ones will highlight your bum. Purchase them with currency. Wear them. Watch the onlookers marvel at your derriere before you pepper spray them for being creeps. This booty is for you, not for them.
3. Do Some Inward Reflection as to Why This is So Important to You
Why do you need a hot bod? Do you not love yourself? It's normal. Everyone has insecurities. It's alright. What's important is that you work towards your goals. Fight everyday for what you want. Make goals, make some plans to achieve those goals, and work towards them every step of the way. Besides, it's what's inside that matters. Just remember that looks aren't everything. Also, we're all going to die someday anyway and your time on earth is fleeting and brief in the grand scheme of things. Chances are you won't make it in to the history books anyway, so who even cares what you look like? Death is upon us all!
4. Exercise
Do some stair stuff. Squats, probably. Yoga? Yoga might help. Go for some jogs. Bicycle. Lift some weights and tone your body up. Do butt clenches. Like, a lot of them. A LOT OF THEM. In public. At work. With your family. Just clench, clench like your life depends on it!
5. Plastic Surgery
If all else fails, you've chosen to be born in to a rich family anyway, so just buy your way to a better butt! If you couldn't find the right family well... work hard, save up and buy yourself the bum of your dreams!
Remember, Yuna believes in you and totally advocates for everything on this list*
*Yuna does not advocate anything on this list
