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The Bubbadook's House of Inappropriate Experiments
We've all woken up after a heavy night with breath that smells like you've been eating sh*t. Well spare a thought for the poor volunteers in my recent human centipede experiments. Honestly though, I don't think they mind too much as I haven't heard a single word of complaint. Maybe human waste is tastier than we think!
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I obviously use the term "volunteers" loosely but it's all in the name of science. I mean where would we be as a species without Edison's light bulb, Fleming's penicillin or Christianity's Judas Cradle?
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The Judas Cradle!
It is my belief that the human species are capable of great things. That being the case I intend to test the boundaries of human suffering by coming up with the most horrific methods of torture imaginable.
Here are a few of my favourites from back in the day!
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The Brazen Bull - Slowly cooked alive inside a metal bull - hot stuff!
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Impalement - Vlad the Impaler once did this to 20,000 people whilst he had his dinner - what a ledge!
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The Rack - stretched until all your joints were dislocated and eventually your limbs detached from your torso - cracking!
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Saw Torture - Strung up by the feet and sawn in half - PMSL!!
Over the next ten days stay tuned for my new methods of human torture which will be accompanied by diagrams and explanations. Enjoy!
