From the Depths of the Void - a Beautiful Flower

Hey everyone! It's been a bit and I've gone through some... significant life changes, so I thought a re-introduction might be in order.

I am the one formerly known as Behold the Void, I was a Cid's Knight many years ago, more years than I care to count if I'm being totally honest. In the time since I last popped in I've undergone a significant life change - namely, finally accepting that I am a transgender woman and socially and medically transitioning. So with that, I return with a new name and identity that suits who I truly am much better than the name and identity I wore before. This site has always been a bit of a solace for me, even being apart knowing it was still here was of great comfort to me so I'm happy to be able to come back and see folks again after all I've been through. I can happily say that I am happier now than I have ever been in my life, and that's with the fact that I'm currently undergoing chemotherapy for colon cancer (2 more treatments to go and my oncologist is pretty confident that will render me cancer free!) so transitioning truly was the best thing in my life and I'm honestly a bit mad at myself for having run from it so long.

So to friends new and old, I'm glad to see you all and be among you authentically at long last.

Welcome back my friend! You were always one of my favorite CK’s. Thank you for sharing all of your updates with us. I’m glad you feel comfortable doing that. I think that comfort is one of the great things this place has provided.

Good luck with all your treatments.

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Originally Posted by Del Murder

Welcome back my friend! You were always one of my favorite CK’s. Thank you for sharing all of your updates with us. I’m glad you feel comfortable doing that. I think that comfort is one of the great things this place has provided.

Good luck with all your treatments.

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Aww thank you Del! It always feels good to be remembered positively, I'm still proud of everything I was able to do while I was still more active and involved here. I ended up burning myself out pretty hard by the end, but it was still a good time I remember fondly.

This is awesome. I remember you from waaay back. So glad you're able to feel more comfortable and working towards being who you truly are. I love these sorts of stories! I've had identity issues in the past too so these sorts of stories of overcoming personal hurdles and being true to themselves are super inspirational to me :shobon:

Onwards and upwards with your cancer recovery! Hope it all goes well and you kick that cancer to the curb :moogle:

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Originally Posted by Slade

This is awesome. I remember you from waaay back. So glad you're able to feel more comfortable and working towards being who you truly are. I love these sorts of stories! I've had identity issues in the past too so these sorts of stories of overcoming personal hurdles and being true to themselves are super inspirational to me :shobon:

Onwards and upwards with your cancer recovery! Hope it all goes well and you kick that cancer to the curb :moogle:

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Honestly, I avoided it for so long but it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself, and it saved my life in a much more literal sense than most trans people say since it lead to them finding my cancer early enough to treat due to all of the monitoring of my hormones that I was under.

As to the cancer, I'm definitely hopeful. I've been basically getting injected with copious doses of poison for almost half a year now, so for the traces of cancer that were left post-surgery my prognosis is thankfully very positive!

U were one of the best writers around! All the best to your recovery and glad to see u around! :bigsmile:

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Originally Posted by Christmas

U were one of the best writers around! All the best to your recovery and glad to see u around! :bigsmile:

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Thank you! I'm actually still writing quite a bit, I own my own small design studio and I make tabletop RPGs and am hoping to move into fiction with the big setting I'm working on!

Welcome back! I'm glad to hear you're feeling well and happy, and have been able to find yourself. I'm sure it's been a very stressful time but it sounds like you're through the worst of it and are nearly there now. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll get the all clear from the oncologist soon.

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Originally Posted by Psychotic

Welcome back! I'm glad to hear you're feeling well and happy, and have been able to find yourself. I'm sure it's been a very stressful time but it sounds like you're through the worst of it and are nearly there now. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll get the all clear from the oncologist soon.

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Oh lord me too. Once we're done with chemo I get to go on observation so I'll need to keep my port for about a year or so after, and if they still find cancer afterward it looks like immunotherapy is the next step which will be less long and invasive, but my oncologist is pretty confident I'll come out of chemo free and clear so I just have to hope she's right.

Hello Azure. :) I'm sorry to hear that you're going through cancer treatments. It's awesome though that the transitioning process has made it possible to catch the cancer early and that your oncologist is optimistic. And it's so wonderful that you can now be your true authentic self. You got this! :) :cat:

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Originally Posted by Leeza

Hello Azure. :) I'm sorry to hear that you're going through cancer treatments. It's awesome though that the transitioning process has made it possible to catch the cancer early and that your oncologist is optimistic. And it's so wonderful that you can now be your true authentic self. You got this! :) :cat:

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Thank you Leeza! I'm really happy to see you still hanging out and I appreciate your kind words. Being my authentic self has been truly life-changing. I'm down to my last treatment so I'll be done with chemo very soon!

Welcome back!! :love:

A nice little update - I finally finished chemo and got to ring the bell! Here's the picture my wife snapped of it, it's honestly an enormous relief to be done with my treatment and hopefully come June I'll get a clean bill of health from my CT.

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Looking good! Glad that all is going well! :bigsmile:

AZ for CK again. Pretty sure there’s not any term limits.