Eight months ago, according to the official history of Eyes On Final Fantasy, I resigned from my position as an Administrator and retired to the FFXI forum.
That history is a LIE!
Do you want to know the TRUTH? The horrible, unthinkable TRUTH? Do you have the STRENGTH to face the REALITY that you have been shielded from with pithy LIES?
I was, in fact, fired from my position and exiled to the FFXI forum on pain of DEATH. There I stewed, seething with hatred, for eight long months, surviving on a diet of dead rats and the blood of the living. But now, NOW the time for my vengeance has come, for here in this great VGM/TSW forum, I have found a haven where the staff fears to tread, an organizing ground for my invincible army of darkness.
Join me in my struggle against a corrupt and soulless staff! Yours, too, can be the glory of a hard-won victory against oppressive authoritarian forces. No contribution is too small and no member is too stupid to make a difference in this epic struggle of Good (me) vs. Evil (them)...and I also offer a thing that is very precious in this world: Job security. How can I offer this? Easy. You're not getting paid.
Now some of you are going to die. (Not me, though, I'll be in the back giving orders.) Although die you may, you will have a glorious death as a martyr to the greatest cause in all of history. Your name will be sung by children for aeons to come as one of the greatest heroes of all time.
All this can be yours. There is no limit to the number of applicants, as I need all of thecannon foddermighty heroes that I can get on my side in this titanic struggle.
So make something of your life! Realize your full potential! Join my Army, and take CONTROL of your life!
