This is the greatest radio show ever.
ULTIMATE MANATEE RACING!!
(It's Friday night and Bob Ross has just received the news that his show will be cancelled for 3 days due to baseball, football, and a towel folding expo, which is live at Sesame Place. After hearing the tragic news, Bob Ross is enraged and seeks revenge.)
Bob Ross: I'm not happy. I feel lonely, so I'll go to happy Chuck E. Cheese with all the children.
Bob Ross roller blades to Chuck E. Cheese happily, but inside, he is enraged.)
(Roller Blade sounds)
(The sound of children fills the room.)
Lawrence Taylor: Yo, kids, mah cooz self is havin' mah self a happenin' shindig. Yo, foo'! I'm havin' the time of mah life like a mofo! Yo, dat Bo' Ross, he be whack an' he be cereo' smellin'.
Bob Ross skips up to Lawrence and kisses him on the forehead)
Lawrence Taylor: Yo brotha, sucka! Why yo self actin' all mad gay all ova mah happenin' shindig?! They be childs up in this pieace hea', and theyz childs goin' be trippin' up in theyz cribs.
Bob Ross: Man, you need some more happy clouds and squirrels in you rlife.
Lawrence Taylor: What this foo' talkin' 'bout now?! Yo just a crazy foo' seein' things that ain't be there!
(Bob Ross suddenly snaps and chucks Lawrence into an arcade machine and it explodes 17 times. Bob sees that Lawrence is still moving and throws another arcade machine onto Lawrence and another 17 explosions take place. Meanwhile, Chandler Bing, while in a mouse suit, witnesses the entire scene. He is the only witness. Bob Ross leaves a painting about Big Bird. On the back of the painting lies a picture of himself smiling and rubbing himself.)
(Bob Ross chuckles and flies out of Chuck E. Cheese)
(Skyler Tribiani, a detective, and Carl Winslow, a cop, inspect the scene.)
Carl Winslow: Is he dead?
Chandler Bing: Could he be more dead?
Carl: I dunno, I'm asking you. If you look past the 3rd degree burns, he looks alive. So what's your name?
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Carl: Chandler Bing, eh? (Makes a "Bing!" sound.)
Chandler: Why are you making fun of my name?
Carl: Howdy doody! Did you witness the murder?
Chandler: How abou tyou stop eating the stinkin' donuts and answer my question, fatty fat fat fatty!
Carl:(Anxiously) Donuts?! WHERE?! WHERE ARE MY DONUTS?!
Chandler: Okay, can I have a professional now?
(Skyler comes over.)
Skyler Tribiani: Tattoos.
Chandler: What?
Skyler: Hi, do you know where I can find a lightbulb?
Chandler: What? What is wrong with you?
Carl:*While poking Chandler) I think someone died.
Chandler: I'd thank you kindly to stop poking me.
Skyler joins Carl
Skyler: Wow, your jacket feels really nice! Where'd you get it?
Chandler: Do you want my help or not, because if you don't, I'd like to get back to my job.
Skyler: And that would be?
Chandler: Mouse?
Skyler: Did you see or hear anything while you were on the job?
Chandler: Okay, while I Was working...
(Chandler describes what he saw. Carl and Skyler take notes, but they cannot figure out who the murderer is.)
(End of scene 1)
(Fade out with Spider-Man theme song)
(Commercial break)
(A Robotic Flamethrower Arm Sharpener Grillshoe commercial begins with the Spider-Man theme song in the background.)
Tobias Beacher: Hello, my name is Tobias. I'm here to advertise the best invention sine the shoe lace. It's called the Flamethrower Arm Sharpener Grillshoe. Hi. Buy this product or don't. But you should, mainly because it's the best invention since the shoe lace. It's a flamethrower that's shaped like an arm, talks like a robot, and sharpens and cooks shoes. Bye. So buy it now! You don't know what you're missing. What's up? You would be, if you would just call this toll free number. Hey. My name is Beacher. I have a guinea pig named Microwave. It cooks me. Hello. I also have a hamster named floor map. What was that? If you don't buy this product, I'll throw a rabbit at your shoe and, hey! Did you just say I look like a rhino? (Throws a rabbit at a nearby wall.) Is that okay with you? Bye. See you tomorrow. Hey, it's time to eat fish. Rabbit, you say? Here, have some. I like soup and sasquatches. Hello.
Fades out with Spider-Man music.)
I'll type up scene 2 tomorrow. Yeah, I typed this up in 8th grade. Hope you all enjoy it as much as my friends and I enjoyed acting it out!
