Eizonian tales!

Write some fairy-tales, ghost-tales, myths or such from your nations. I'll begin.

The Maiden of Armin Ala

In an age past, when the Archcouncilor was Tojomo of the Akikawa clan, the Shrine of Armin Ala was abandoned to a vengeful spirit. The priests of Sae left, and the countryside was ridden with drought. Nothing would grow, and all was dying. The people of the region tried to remove the spirit from its hiding place, but to no avail. And many died, being sucked dry of all the liquid in their bodies, from their blood and spittle to visceral juices, the marrows of their eyes, and the salves of their manhoods. The victims were dry as old wood, and blackened to coal as if being burnt.
So the region sent forth for a priest to tame the spirit, and so they came forth. Three men arrived to the most respected leader of Armin Ala, the Clan Mother Turelië of the Elenë.
The oldest one was called Yö Suo – but that was not his first name – and he was a Knower of vast renown, and a Witness of Yö, for he was blind, and therefore lived eternally in Her darkness.
The second man was called Kuu Loistaa – and neither was his first name this – for he was a great Witness of Kuu, and he saw both in the Dark and the Light.
The youngest one was almost a boy, and they called him Pikkuaurinko, for he was an acolyte of Päi, and did not see well in the dark.
Turelië asked each man: "Please, help us to remove this spirit from our shrine, for otherwise all is lost."
And Yö Suo replied: "I shall see what I can do."
And Kuu Loistaa replied: "I swear by the Moon, it shall be so."
And Pikkuaurinko replied: "As sure as the Sun will rise, I will do so."
And Turelië took them to the Shrine, while the sun still shone, and said: "Here is the shrine, and the spirit lies within. Who will depart first?"
And Pikkuarinko stepped forward, and opened Saeen Ovet, and stepped in the Shrine.
For five moments and more, there was not a sound to be heard. Suddenly, Pikkuaurinko screamed, and everyone outside heard him fall on the floor, and die as the spirit sucked out his water.
Kuu Loistaa said that he would be next, but that he would wait for the Moon to rise, together with the Sun. And when that time of twilight came, and the sky had started to dark in the west, he opened Saeen Ovet, and stepped in the Shrine.
And it took fifteen moments of silence, before Kuu Loistaa shouted out his dying scream, and fell in the floor of the shrine, unseen by those outside.
"Oh, cursed are we!" lamented Turelië, "For we have lost another holy man to this spirit."
But Yö Suo said: "Worry not, for he shall have been the last."
And he said he would wait for night to fall, and when it did, he opened Saeen Ovet, and stepped in the Shrine.
Those outside were already singing to his lamentation, and their cry filled the air with fear. The trees swayed with their screams, and the spirit joined them in that elegy, and suddenly, it rose into a sound that silenced all, ceased, and fell silent.
And there was Yö Suo, who had not died.
Turelië asked: "How is that you are not dead, you who hang your feet in your burial pot? Two younger and stronger men went before you, and did not return."
"And that was their demise," said Yö Suo. "For what this Shrine has been cursed by was not a spirit, but a ghost of a maiden, who had never known the pleasures of flesh. And she did not know them after her death either, and killed her lovers by their greed, at the moment their milk parted their flesh."
"Is she gone now?" asked Turelië.
"No, but she will be at peace. Because I taught her her own pleasure."
And since then, the people of Armin Ala have always left a sacrifice of root vegetables in the shrine of Sae, for the Ghost Maiden of Eternal Pleasure.

The Lord of the Rings

There was once an evil thing called Loony BoB. And then Psychotic smote the Loony BoB and all was laid to burnination. Then people named Nait tried to make out with Psy, and he was all "No babe, no".

The End.

There once was a man from Ryeville,
Who dreamt he was eating a contraceptive pill.
He woke with a terrible fright
To find he was terribly right!

Suddenly, the man became psychotic, knowing what he did, moved away, and formed the nation of Super Shiny Land.