Presenting...An EoFF Christmas Carol
Okay, this was just done in chat. We worked awful hard at it, and several people had to do many parts. Please read, and remember that we had the Christmas spirit in mind.
AN EOFF CHRISTMAS CAROL
< Narrator > A CHRISTMAS CAROL
< Scrooge > I tell Cratchit that he better like it cold.
< Narrator > shhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm starting :P
< Faris > :D
< Mindflare > Those assholes took over thespark.com! Er... that sucks.
Narrator > again: A CHRISTMAS CAROL
< Narrator > ACTED BY THE #EOFF PLAYERS
< Narrator > it was a cold day in england at the marley and scrooge counting house. it is here that we see the scene unfold: a barely lit coal fire, a middle-aged man freezing behind his candle and books.
< Narrator > then some old fart comes in and yells at him
< Narrator > ENTER SCROOGE
< Scrooge > Bah! Humbug, Cratchit! Humbug!
< Narrator > ...enter cratchit?
< Scrooge > I said, Bah! Humbug, Cratchit! Humbug!
< Narrator > HEY CRATCHIT
< Little > Um
< Little > Fred is first
< Little > In the story :D
< Scrooge > Complain about the fire first!
< Narrator > ...commanded scrooge, always demanding of his employee.
< Scrooge > CRATCHIT
< Critchit > Uh, this fire is horrible!
< Scrooge > CRATCHIT
< Scrooge > WITH AN A
< Scrooge > CUT!
* Critchit is now known as Cratchit
< Cratchit > :(
< Narrator > from the cold, snowy outside enters a young, cheery man.
< Fred > Scrooge! Merry Christmas!
< Scrooge > Bah, Humbug! Leave me alone, you stupid boy!
< Narrator > scrooge replies as coldly as the room itself
< Fred > Christmas a humbug, uncle! You don't mean that, I am sure.
< Narrator > oh snap no he didn't
< Scrooge > I do! Christmas is for communists!
< Fred > Come, then. What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough.
< Scrooge > Not rich enough. Now what is it that you bother our work for?
* Scrooge slaps Fred around a bit with a large trout
< Narrator > before becoming too irate, fred makes a simple request to his dear uncle
< Fred > Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us tomorrow.
< Scrooge > Why would I want to dine with YOU?
< Fred > Hmm, the same reason you got married!
< Scrooge > I never got married, you idiot. Now GET OUT!!!!
< Narrator > fred leaves, disappointed. then scrooge bitches at cratchit some more.
* Fred is now known as Cratchit
< Scrooge > Cratchit, you wanted to speak with me about something. Now what was it?
< Narrator > cratchit wets himself, not used to confrontation.
< Cratchit > I think you should go.
< Cratchit > It will be good for your complexion.
< Scrooge > I don't need to go anywhere. And neither do you.
< Cratchit > It's only once a year sir!
< Scrooge > That doesn't matter. Now what was your request of me?
< Cratchit > Give me a back massage.
< Scrooge > WHAT?!?!?!?!!111one
< Cratchit > Like you used to
< Narrator > it is apparant by the size of cratchit's nipples that he is very cold. or very horney.
< Cratchit > I'm sorry..
< Scrooge > You better like this coldness.
< Cratchit > I don't know where that came from.
< Cratchit > I'll take my leave...
< Scrooge > Tell me what you wish.
< Cratchit > For this scene to end.
< Scrooge > Perhaps Cratchit should check his private channel.
< Scrooge > Perhaps that would help him and his disgusting CHRISTMAS CHEER!
* Cratchit :(
< Narrator > at once, scrooge takes his leave to the next scene, leaving cratchit alone...very cold, and very horney.
< Scrooge > Oh, and btw, you can have Christmas off, but I expect you early on the 26th!
< Scrooge > BAH, HUMBUG!!!!!!!!
< Scrooge > Bah, those damn charity workers.
< gentlemen > *walks in*
< Narrator > scrooge is seen now in the trading house, and a gentleman walks up to him.
< gentlemen > Excuse me sir. Could you give some charity to us poor in hungry folk?
< Drunkard > GIVE ME A DOLLAR
< Scrooge > I will not give anything. Prisons and workhouses are the only things in which I would ever donate.
< Scrooge > And get out of my house, you drunkard.
< gentlemen > But I work at the prison, really!
< Narrator > the drunkard is slapped upside the head.
* Scrooge slaps Drunkard around a bit with a large trout
< Scrooge > You do not, you charity worker!
< Scrooge > Now GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!
< Scrooge > HUMBUG
< Narrator > magically, scrooge is warped from the stock house to his home...with the charity dude. wtf.
< gentlemen > Oh, but how I would lurve a bologne snadwhich right now. Mr. Mr. Can't you spair one?
< gentlemen > Nice house
< Scrooge > I don't have any bologna.
< Scrooge > Now get away from me!
< Narrator > the charity worker is slapped, and scrooge moves on to his bedroom.
* Mindflare is now known as Jacob_Marley
< Scrooge > Bah, humbug. I hate Christmas.
< Narrator > an eerie sound is heard from outside his bedroom as scrooge eats the pouridge he forgot he was eating.
< Jacob_Marley > Kevin!
< Scrooge > What the bloody hell is that?
< Scrooge > :o! Jacob Marley? It can't be!
< Jacob_Marley > Wait a sec. Scrooge? Damnation. Wrong house. But it's all just as well.
< Narrator > the ghastly spirit of his former worked makes it into his room and he's all scary and junk.
< Scrooge > This is worse than the Unne x Bleys porn I'm downloading.
< Narrator > he's got chains on because he's a trendy jerk who thinks punk is cool. whatta asshole.
< Scrooge > I'm so scared right n ow.
< Narrator > he the confronts scrooge....
< Jacob_Marley > It took me 5 days to get here with these chains. You'd better appreciate this.
< Jacob_Marley > My life sucks.
< Scrooge > What do you want, anyway?
< Jacob_Marley > Your soul.
< Scrooge > As you used to work for me. But you DIED!
< Jacob_Marley > Rather, I deliver a warning.
< Narrator > the orchestra plays a frightening arpeggio
< Scrooge > C E G C
< Jacob_Marley > Avoid the tuna at the fish market.
< Jacob_Marley > Wait, that wasn't it...
< Scrooge > :o! I don't eat fish.
< Narrator > another arpeggio!
< Scrooge > But are those ledgers and stuff on your chains?
< Jacob_Marley > Excellent. More for me. May I?
< Scrooge > D F# A D!
< Jacob_Marley > *gasp*
< Narrator > the audience gasps as well.
< Scrooge > At any rate, what are you REALLY here for?
< Scrooge > I've got some Fat Elephant comics to read, and you're really upsetting my night.
< Jacob_Marley > Scrooge. Enough about all of this. I have wandered the earth since my untimely demise, pained and weighed of the evil of my wicked life.
< Narrator > scrooge asks, channeling the thoughts of the narrator.
< Scrooge > Whatever would you come here for?!!?!!!111one
< Jacob_Marley > To deliver a message, silly. Your greedy ways have caught up to you. They're coming for you.
< Scrooge > I'm not greedy. I simply know what I want in life. STUFF THAT MULTIPLIES!!!! HUMBUG!! *cough*
< Jacob_Marley > Well, I've got three ghosts breathing down my neck telling me otherwise. So, Scroogipumpkin, have you been naughty this year?
< Scrooge > It depends what you mean by 'naughty.'
< Narrator > just then, jacob's chains start to pull him back to the other realm...he'd better deliver his message fast or be left behind.
< Narrator > or something.
< Jacob_Marley > Damnation! Don't end up like me!
< Scrooge > Please don't tell me that Ghosts or something will come for me!
< Scrooge > OH GOD PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT!!!!
< Jacob_Marley > But I just did.
< Narrator > jacob is slapped and disappears
* Scrooge sleeps
< Narrator > filled with the knowledge of the three spirits that will visit him, scrooge attempts to sleep.
< Scrooge > Wait, no1
< Narrator > at the stroke of one, he is awoken.
< The_First_Spirit > Wake up, fatty.
< The_First_Spirit > BEHOLD ME
< Scrooge > AAAAHHHH!
< The_First_Spirit > For I am the Ghost of Christmas Past!
< Scrooge > Don't say it's so!
< Narrator > the first spirit is a hot naked chick.
< Scrooge > That bastard Jacob Marley couldn't have told the truth!
< The_First_Spirit > I am the ghost of your past!
< The_First_Spirit > Now get up
< Narrator > ...but he already is! *badumshee*
< The_First_Spirit > Don't make me cast Thundaga on you.
< Scrooge > I have reflect on, idiot.
< The_First_Spirit > But I absord thunder!
< Scrooge > I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever hits me bounces off and sticks to you. Or something like that.
< The_First_Spirit > > :(
< The_First_Spirit > GET UP
< Scrooge > Fine.
* Scrooge gets up
< The_First_Spirit > Behold as the environment around you changes.
< The_First_Spirit > Like a movie only... sort of more realistic.
< The_First_Spirit > Like a movie 30-40 years from now maybe.
< Narrator > the ghost and scrooge walk out of his bedroom and into the hall. wow!
* The_First_Spirit makes gesture
< Scrooge > OMG TEH HALLWAY
< Narrator > the hall is in the past, though. stuff is happening!
< The_First_Spirit > Scrooge, wait here one second while I suggest that someone become the young version of you.
< Scrooge > Okie dokie.
* The_First_Spirit suggests that someone become young scrooge, and someone else becomes a girl.
* Narrator concurs.
* Mindflare is now known as Girl
* Spiff is now known as Young_Scrooge
< Young_Scrooge > Ay dere!
< The_First_Spirit > Behold this young boy reading a book.
< Young_Scrooge > Dis be a foine book it be!
< The_First_Spirit > Awww, you were so cute < 3
< Narrator > says young scrooge, with a really weird accent.
< The_First_Spirit > What happened?!
* Girl is now known as Fan
< Young_Scrooge > I think I'll take up smoking, I will!
< Young_Scrooge > With a soide of hookers and booze!
< Scrooge > ...is this me as a boy?
< The_First_Spirit > Yes it is.
< The_First_Spirit > Ah, what's this?
< The_First_Spirit > I see you have shed a tear
< The_First_Spirit > You crybaby, suck it up!
* The_First_Spirit nudges the girl
* Fan runs in.
< Narrator > a few years later, young scrooge encounters the girl.
< Young_Scrooge > Why 'ello dere!
< Narrator > his...sister...?
< Fan > Hi there!
< Young_Scrooge > I was about to comment on how hot you were but now I realize that you're my sister!
< Young_Scrooge > Fancy that!
< Narrator > they comment about their mean father and love of incest
< Fan > Scrooge, why don't you come home for christmas? Despite you being a bastard, father wants you home.
< Fan > < 3.
< The_First_Spirit > Although it may not seem like it, this dialogue results in you feeling like you've been neglected by your parents on Christmas.
< Young_Scrooge > But father is an ass!
< The_First_Spirit > Listen to that mouth on you
< Fan > No, you're an ass.
< Fan > Now come home.
< Young_Scrooge > He beats me and locks me in de cupboard he does!
< Fan > Hey, you've got a cup to do your buisness into.
< Young_Scrooge > Now kiss me!
* Fan s3x0r.
< Young_Scrooge > Rawr
< Narrator > fan gets pissed and leaves because he touches her wrong. fastforward. years later, scrooge is working as an apprentice at a guy's place and there's a bitchin party.
< The_First_Spirit > Let us look at a later Christmas… Young Ebenezer is now a grown man, released from school into the world - his father dead. A promising, independent, young man with business prospects, and every hope of happiness before him…
< Young_Scrooge > This party be bitchin' it be!
* The_First_Spirit is now known as The_Second_Spirit
< Narrator > there's also this chick there. name's belle. she should appear any minute now.
< Young_Scrooge > Where's the booze?
* The_Second_Spirit is now known as The_First_Spirit_Still
< Narrator > yes indeed, belle should make an entrance soon.
* The_First_Spirit_Still is now known as Belle
< Young_Scrooge > Ah, lookit dere!
< Scrooge > There's no way!
< Belle > Yo Scrooge!
< Belle > When are we to get married!
< Scrooge > This can't be that day, can it?
* Belle forced smile
< Narrator > the first spirit takes a potty break.
< Narrator > he assumes that scrooge can figure it out himself.
< Young_Scrooge > Ay yous ho, make me a sammich.
< Belle > But Scrooge!
< Young_Scrooge > NOW, BITCH.
< Belle > We've been together since last Christmas
< Young_Scrooge > DON'T MAKE ME GIT MY BEATIN STICK
< Belle > And the Christmas before!
* Belle shrugs!
< Young_Scrooge > AY!
* Belle makes a sandwich.
< Young_Scrooge > Damn skippy.
* Young_Scrooge eats.
< Young_Scrooge > This sammich SUCKS.
< Belle > ... you can... be a real jerk.
< Young_Scrooge > MAKE ANOTHER.
< Narrator > there is much love and old scrooge is sad.
< Belle > But we're out of Pimento!
< Scrooge > :(
< Scrooge > I can't believe that Belle broke off our engagement that day.
< Belle > Hey, where did you go you asshole!
< Narrator > go back to normal time. first spirit disappears, scrooge assumes it's a dream.
< Scrooge > It pains me to think that SHE BROKE OFF OUR ENGAGEMENT.
< Narrator > and he's in his bed.
* Belle is now known as The_First_Spirit
< Scrooge > But wait, that was a dream!
< The_First_Spirit > Think about what happened Scrooge!
< The_First_Spirit > Think aboutttt.....
< Scrooge > That was just a dream.
* The_First_Spirit is now known as The_Second_Spirit
< Scrooge > I'm glad I'm back home, though.
< Narrator > scrooge also recollects their relationship blah blah so sad :(
< The_Second_Spirit > BOO!
< Scrooge > Not another one!
< The_Second_Spirit > Aye!
< Scrooge > And this one is really fat, if I remember the Disney one correctly.
< Narrator > second spirit appears at 2:00AM
< Narrator > yeah, he's a fatass.
< The_Second_Spirit > Yesterday was not a dream.
< The_Second_Spirit > In fact it was REAL!
< Scrooge > What ghost are you?
< Narrator > and creepy and sweaty.
< Scrooge > What is your prepositional phrase?
< The_Second_Spirit > I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT
< The_Second_Spirit > As in chronologically
< Scrooge > OMG CHRISTMAS PRESENT?
< Scrooge > I WANT ONE
< The_Second_Spirit > Not like a christmas present.
< Scrooge > No I DON'T
< Scrooge > HUMBUT!
< The_Second_Spirit > I get that alot.
< Scrooge > Or humbug, rather.
< Scrooge > You look like you come from a big family.
< The_Second_Spirit > Come you filthy mandragora
< Narrator > scrooge is enveloped in the fat of the spirit
< Narrator > and they visit the house of the cratchit's.
< The_Second_Spirit > Let's look at someone you know
< Narrator > slowly, bob cratchit appears...
* Spiff is now known as Tiny_Tim
* The_Second_Spirit Gestures
< Narrator > and tiny tim...whateva.
< Scrooge > Where's Bob Cratchit?
* Fan is now known as Mrs_Cratchit
< The_Second_Spirit > This is Freds Party!
< The_Second_Spirit > Okay, that's next I guess
< Scrooge > What?
< Scrooge > No it's n.
< The_Second_Spirit > Sorry, I make the mistake sometimes, ho hum, ho hum.
< Mrs_Cratchit > [forehead slap]
< Narrator > yeah...bob cratchit's house. second spirit's been boozing a bit.
< Scrooge > But anyway, where is BoB Cratchit?
* The_Second_Spirit is now known as Cratchit
< Scrooge > Note the capitalization.
< Scrooge > Wait.
< Mrs_Cratchit > He's passed out in the gutter out back.
< Cratchit > Where is my WIfE!?
< Cratchit > Oh where you are.
< Tiny_Tim > *cough*
< Cratchit > God bless you honey, God bless you.
< Scrooge > Another potty break for the spirit, I guess?
< Mrs_Cratchit > o.O
< Narrator > the second spirit went into cardiac arrest.
< Narrator > he's fat. but he'll be okay.
< Scrooge > Ah. Too many McRibs, I suppose.
< Scrooge > But what's going on here?
< Cratchit > nick The_Second_Spirit
< Tiny_Tim > I'm dying, govna.
< Scrooge > I don't want to know about these crappy protaganist family!
* Cratchit is now known as The_Second_Spirit
< Narrator > cratchit and his family are talking about how they love eachother.
< The_Second_Spirit > Observe as Cratchit and his familty are talking about how they love eachother.
< Mrs_Cratchit > I love you, family. Except you, Timmy. You suck.
< Tiny_Tim > I'M DYING.
< Scrooge > Bah! Love.
< Narrator > or rather...they WOULD be, if cratchit wouldn't keep mysteriously disappearing. he's like freaking sam fisher.
< Tiny_Tim > Shove it, mother.
< Scrooge > Bobby.
< Scrooge > Bobby Fischer.
< The_Second_Spirit > Scrooge, one more outburst like that and I'll eat you!
* Mrs_Cratchit slaps Tiny_Tim around a bit with a large trout
< The_Second_Spirit > I am a bit hungry...
< Tiny_Tim > Oh, it's on.
< Mrs_Cratchit > Bringit, son.
* Tiny_Tim beats Mrs_Cratchit with his crutch.
< Scrooge > Wow, I wonder what Cratchit would be saying if he was here.
* The_Second_Spirit is now known as Cratchit
< Tiny_Tim > It's your fault father left us!
< Narrator > it is quite apparant that there is much love in this house. the spirit decides to move on to fred's house.
< Tiny_Tim > Oh wait, there he is.
< Scrooge > But wait!
< Mrs_Cratchit > Father never loved you!
< Scrooge > Will Tiny Tim survive?
< Scrooge > I MUST KNOW!
< Cratchit > ... I can't believe Scrooge turned me down on that back rub...
< Scrooge > WILL TINY TIM SURVIVE?
< Scrooge > TELL ME, YOU ELITIST!
< Scrooge > HUMBUG!
< Narrator > the spirit keeps losing consciousness.
* Tiny_Tim is now known as Spiff
< Cratchit > Tiny Tim has a disease.
* Mrs_Cratchit is now known as Mindflare
< Scrooge > Really?
< Scrooge > Well, I'd really like to talk to the spirit right now.
< Narrator > cratchit says...in a...monologue?
* Cratchit is now known as The_Second_Spirit
< The_Second_Spirit > Sorry about that my good man.
< Scrooge > Diarrhea?
< The_Second_Spirit > Scabies =(
< Scrooge > =(
< The_Second_Spirit > Anyway
< Scrooge > But anyway, will Tiny Tim survive?
< The_Second_Spirit > Man, if man you be in heart and not alone in shape, forbear such wickedness until you have discovered what the surplus is, and where it is. Will you decide what men shall live and what men shall die? It may be that in the sight of heaven you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child.
< Scrooge > That's some random Dickens-style English.
< Scrooge > HUMBUG!
< The_Second_Spirit > He will surely die Scrooge!
< Scrooge > :o
< Scrooge > OMGWTFSARS
< Narrator > scotty now beams them to fred's christmas party.
* The_Second_Spirit is now known as Fred
< Scrooge > Wow, this looks like a pimpin' time.
< Scrooge > These sex games look great!
< Fred > ... So anyway, you know that chap Scrooge?
< Scrooge > OMG they're playing Del x Eest porn!
< Fred > He was all like "Oh yeah, Bah Humbug!"
< Fred > What a douchebag!
< Narrator > fred says, to his...SPIFFy...friends.
< Narrator > or wife. whatever.
< Fred > That's the truth, my dear! He's a comical old fellow, and not so pleasant as he might be. However, his offences carry their own punishment, and I have nothing to say against him.
* Spiff is now known as Freds_Friends_and_Wife
< laugh > Oh 
.
< Fred > indeed.
< Narrator > they now play games and discuss scrooge.
< Scrooge > I suppose Fred's Friends and Wife laugh.
< Scrooge > These games seem great!
* Freds_Friends_and_Wife laugh
< Scrooge > OMG a PS2!
< Scrooge > I mean what?
< Scrooge > HUMBUG!
< Scrooge > Why is nobody paying attention to me, Spirit?
< Fred > Well, he has given us plenty of merriment, I am sure, and it would be ungrateful not to drink his health! A Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to the old man, wherever he is!
* Freds_Friends_and_Wife dance.
* Fred is now known as The_Second_Spirit
< The_Second_Spirit > whw.. Wha HUH!?
* Freds_Friends_and_Wife give cheers. Or somehting.
< The_Second_Spirit > They can't see you dumbass.
< The_Second_Spirit > Remember what the first spirit said?
< Narrator > fred's friends and wife spontaneously combust.
< The_Second_Spirit > It's like a movie.
< The_Second_Spirit > Oh ... they weren't supposed to implode.
< Scrooge > What am I supposed to do here, at any rate?
< Scrooge > HUMBUG!
< Narrator > scrooge learns that despite the adverse opinions of others, there are still some who love him and junk.
< Scrooge > Nobody loves me. I've been eaten by the system, fool.
< The_Second_Spirit > Fred loves you
< Scrooge > LIES
< The_Second_Spirit > See the last line
< The_Second_Spirit > Before I changed from him
< The_Second_Spirit > :D
< The_Second_Spirit > :D!
< The_Second_Spirit > Now you see?!
< Scrooge > YES
< Scrooge > Apparently he loves me. > =( Damn him.
< The_Second_Spirit > I'm leaving you Scrooge
< Scrooge > NO!
< The_Second_Spirit > But don't forget!
< Scrooge > What about two children/
< The_Second_Spirit > And rub Cratchits back!
* Freds_Friends_and_Wife is now known as Ignorance_and_Wait
< Scrooge > Wait?
< The_Second_Spirit > Oh yeah
< The_Second_Spirit > They belong to Man. Look upon them! Here they stand: yellow, meager, naked, wolfish. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I read Doom for all Mankind if what is written here be not erased.
< Scrooge > I always thought they were Ignorance and Want.
< The_Second_Spirit > Now I go!
< Scrooge > But that's just me.
< Narrator > ignorance and wa...it appear and they're ugly as a mutha.
* Ignorance_and_Wait is now known as Ignorance_and_Want
< Scrooge > Can nothing be done to help them?
< Narrator > want is apparantly kind of retarded and can't spell her name right.
* The_Second_Spirit is now known as The_Third_Spirit
< Scrooge > CAN NOTHING BE DONE TO HELP THEM?
< Narrator > scrooge is in bed, thinks it's a dream again BUT OH WAIT
* Ignorance_and_Want is now known as Spiff
* The_Third_Spirit enters
< Scrooge > Anyway, I suppose it's too late to be told "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses ?" by the second spirit.
< The_Third_Spirit > !
< Scrooge > OMG
< Scrooge > Double you tee eff
* The_Third_Spirit points
< Scrooge > It's the freaking Grim Reaper!
< Scrooge > It looks like...RAISTLIN
* The_Third_Spirit makes the following face: (`-´)
< Narrator > "don't fear the reaper" plays mysteriously from an unseen stereo, and we go back...TO THE FUTURE!
* Spiff is now known as Doc_Brown
< Scrooge > Not yet!
< Scrooge > I have to go forward on my Sparknotes.
< Scrooge > I mean, HUMBUG!
* The_Third_Spirit is now known as Businessman
< Scrooge > What is YOUR prepositional phrase, SPirit?
* Mindflare is now known as Businessman2
< Businessman > blah blah blah blah money, yeah somebody dying
* graveyard_ghost is now known as buissnessman3
< Businessman > So you heard about that guy dying?
< Businessman2 > Yeah, what a douchebag.
< buissnessman3 > Yep, he died
< Businessman > Yeah who cares.
< Businessman > But what about his money?
< Narrator > three businessman who traded with scrooge at the trade house discuss a death
< buissnessman3 > What an old grouch
< buissnessman3 > Noone even came to his funeral
< Businessman > What a worthless bushhag
< Businessman > He didn't leave me the money so screw huim
< Narrator > scrooge questions the third spirit of christmas future
< Businessman > Oh hey, Businessman3
< Businessman2 > I want his money. Maybe I could marry his daughter or something.
< buissnessman3 > who has the last Humbug now scrooge, HUMBUG!
* Scrooge questions
< Businessman > Have you seen that wicked website http://demented3d.com/nissen ?
< buissnessman3 > YA?
* Businessman is now known as The_Third_Spirit
< Businessman2 > Bitchin', a website link.
< Narrator > the three businssmen are slapped.
* The_Third_Spirit remains silent
* The_Third_Spirit points again!
< Scrooge > Aren't we suppose to head to an alley?
< Scrooge > Where people supposedly sell this idiot's things?
< Scrooge > OMG It's teh Doc Brown
< Narrator > scrooge and the spirit go to a pawn shop where two serfs are busy trading.
< Doc_Brown > Great Scott!
< Narrator > and doc brown is there too.
< Scrooge > Wait?
< Scrooge > This can't be true!
< Scrooge > Doc brown is not trading with ANYONE!
< Doc_Brown > It is true!
< Scrooge > Doesn't he need a trading partner?
* The_Third_Spirit makes this face (' 3 ')
< Narrator > the trader enters the scene to trade with doc brown
* Scrooge coughs
* The_Third_Spirit is now known as Trader_
< Trader_ > Yo Brown, wassup dawg!?
< Doc_Brown > You! I need something that can generate 1.21 gigawatts of power!
< Trader_ > Sheeet, can't do, foo.
< Doc_Brown > Drat!
< Narrator > brown also discusses trading the earthly posessions of a recently deceased man...
< Scrooge > Who could this man be?
< Trader_ > But I do got a fly selekshun of watches
< Trader_ > I didn't steal dis , don't even be akkusin me.
< Doc_Brown > How about that nice silverware set?
< Trader_ > dat AIn'T FO TRADE
< Doc_Brown > Oh, I think it is.
< Narrator > they dicuss what an asshole the previous owner was.
< Doc_Brown > ANd so does my futuristic ray gun.
< Trader_ > Aight, fiddy bucks.
< Doc_Brown > Oh, and that guy was a dick.
< Doc_Brown > Fiddy? FIDDY?
< Trader_ > FIDDY FOO
< Trader_ > Don't be jerkin me around
< Trader_ > I'll cap yo ass
< Doc_Brown > I'll give you tree fo'.
< Doc_Brown > THat's my final offer.
< Narrator > all of a sudden, marty enters the scene in the delorean and takes doc brown to the year 3059 and the scene ends.
* Trader_ is now known as The_Third_Spirit
< Scrooge > That was utterly utterly random.
* Doc_Brown is now known as Spiff
< Scrooge > But scary spirit!
< Scrooge > What is your prepositional phrase?
* buissnessman3 is now known as theundeadhero
* The_Third_Spirit makes this face e_o
* The_Third_Spirit points YET AGAIN
< Scrooge > Don't say you're the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come!
< Narrator > the voice of doc brown yells from the great beyond..."he is the ghost of...back to the FUTURE!"
< Scrooge > ANYBODY but him!
< The_Third_Spirit > (Actually YOU'RE supposed to guess that's what I am)
< Narrator > they then walk through the stargate and into the graveyard.
< The_Third_Spirit > Third Spirit is SILENT
< Scrooge > Wait, why are we in a graveyard?
* theundeadhero is now known as ghost
< Scrooge > That makes no sense!
< Narrator > er...or rather, cratchit's house.
< Scrooge > I thought we were supposed to go to Cratchit's house or something.
< Narrator > the stargate's still got a few bugs in it, you see.
* The_Third_Spirit is now known as Cratchit
* Businessman2 is now known as Mrs_Cratchit
* ghost is now known as friends
* Spiff is now known as Dead_Tiny_Tim
< Mrs_Cratchit > WAAAH! TINY TIM GOT PWNED!
< Cratchit > MY SON IS ING DEAD
< Dead_Tiny_Tim > I'm dead.
* Mrs_Cratchit cry.
< Scrooge > :o!
< Scrooge > Tiny Tim is dead?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
< Cratchit > I'm sure Scrooge was supportive.
< Cratchit > He was a bastard at times, I admit.
< Mrs_Cratchit > but of course. He was probably driving the bus that hit him.
* Dead_Tiny_Tim remains dead.
< Narrator > scrooge is sad.
< Scrooge > This can't be.
< Cratchit > Well
< Cratchit > We won't forget little Tim
< Cratchit > Therefore
< Scrooge > I would never want to see a poor boy die.
< Cratchit > I am still happy!
< Cratchit > HAPPY HAPPY!
< Scrooge > HUMBUG
* Cratchit grin
* Cratchit is now known as The_Third_Spirit
< Scrooge > :o!
< Scrooge > Third Spirit!
* The_Third_Spirit `---´
< Narrator > scrooge and the spirit hop on the hoverbikes to the graveyard.
< Scrooge > NOT THE GRAVEYARD~
* friends is now known as candygram
< Scrooge > WHAT IS YOUR LISTEN, OH SPIRIT
< Scrooge > LESSON, RATHER
* The_Third_Spirit points at a gravestone
< Scrooge > This doesn't make any sense?
< Scrooge > !
< Scrooge > :o!
* The_Third_Spirit is now known as Gravestone
< Scrooge > What does it say?
< Gravestone > Here Lies Scrooge!
* Mrs_Cratchit is now known as Scrooge`s_Corpse
* Gravestone is now known as The_Third_Spirit
* The_Third_Spirit O________O
< Scrooge > :o! Have I been pwned?
* Scrooge`s_Corpse was pwned.
< Scrooge > PLEASE DON'T SAY I HAVE BEEN PWNED!
< Narrator > the third spirit nods.
* Scrooge`s_Corpse rises from the dead and begins gnawing on local townspeople.
< Scrooge > NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
* Scrooge grabs the Spirit
< Scrooge > UNDO THESE EVENTS!
* candygram is now known as townsman
< Scrooge > PLEASE!
< Scrooge > CAN IT BE CHANGED?
* The_Third_Spirit is now known as Maybe
< Scrooge > PLEASE, ARE THESE EVENTS SEALED, OR CAN THEY BE CHANGED?
< Scrooge > NOT MAYBE!!!!
< Narrator > scrooge blacks out...because the second ghost slipped some e into his drink.
* Scrooge`s_Corpse s3x0rz that total babe Mrs_Cratchit.
< Narrator > and he wakes up in his bed, realizing the lesson to be learned.
* Dead_Tiny_Tim is now known as Random_Boy_on_the_Street
* Maybe is now known as The_Third_Spirit
* The_Third_Spirit gestures to the boy
< Scrooge > I promise, I promise that I will change my life!
< Random_Boy_on_the_Street > What.
< Narrator > the third spirit has already disappeared.
* The_Third_Spirit zoom
< Scrooge > I will be nice to people, and honor Christmas!
* The_Third_Spirit is now known as Mrs
* Mrs is now known as Mrs_Cratchit
< Scrooge > I will live by these lessons of Past, Present, and Proto!
< Scrooge > (had to, it's an EoFF Christmas Carol)
< Mrs_Cratchit > Merry Christmas Mr. Scrooge!
< Scrooge > :o!
< Scrooge > Is it, is it Christmas day?
* townsman is now known as Tiny_Tim
< Scrooge > What day is it?
< Random_Boy_on_the_Street > Da you talking bout.
< Random_Boy_on_the_Street > It's Christmas day.
< Random_Boy_on_the_Street > How you not know that. .
< Random_Boy_on_the_Street > My dog know dat...
< Scrooge > Since when have I lived in the freaking ghetto?
< Random_Boy_on_the_Street > Since today, bitch.
< Narrator > scrooge almost gets angry...then realizes it's christmas and lalalalala
* Random_Boy_on_the_Street wanders off.
< Scrooge > MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
< Scrooge > MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
< Scrooge > MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
< Scrooge > MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
< Scrooge > MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
< Scrooge > MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
* Scrooge`s_Corpse is now known as Charity_Guy
< Scrooge > I suppose I should shave.
< Scrooge > And get dressed.
* Scrooge does so
* Mrs_Cratchit is now known as Ya_Done_Good
< Narrator > just then random boy 2 appears.
* Random_Boy_on_the_Street is now known as Random_Boy_2
< Random_Boy_2 > Wut up.
< Scrooge > Merry Christmas!
< Random_Boy_2 > Hell yeah.
< Scrooge > Please, take this money!
* Scrooge gives him 1100 gil
< Scrooge > Buy a turkey, and deliver it to the Cratchit's house!
< Random_Boy_2 > No ? Werd up, homie.
< Random_Boy_2 > Aw dat . *runs off*
< Scrooge > What a nice lad.
* Scrooge smiles
* Random_Boy_2 is now known as Random_Boy_3
< Narrator > random boy 2 falls into a well and dies a horrible death.
< Narrator > random boy 3 appears.
< Random_Boy_3 > 'ello dere!
< Scrooge > Why hello!
< Random_Boy_3 > I 'ere you want a christmas turkey delivered!
< Scrooge > Yes!
< Scrooge > Please, take this money!
* Ya_Done_Good is now known as Designated_Guy_That_Says_The_E
* Scrooge gives 1100 more gil
< Random_Boy_3 > I can do it!
* Designated_Guy_That_Says_The_E is now known as Guy_That_Says_The_End
< Random_Boy_3 > I can do it nine times!
* Looking up Random_Boy_3 user info...
* Looking up Charity_Guy user info...
* Random_Boy_3 does it.
< Narrator > random boy 3 runs off and the scene moves on.
< Scrooge > Hm...I wonder where that Charity man ran off to.
< Narrator > scrooge goes outside and runs into the charity man.
< Charity_Guy > 'lo dere, Mr. Scrooge.
< Scrooge > Hello!
< Scrooge > I'm sorry for my behavior before.
< Scrooge > I truly apologize...fool.
< Charity_Guy > Why thank you. Now give me your money. *holds up an uzi*
< Scrooge > Why, of course!
* Scrooge gives money
< Charity_Guy > w00t!
* Charity_Guy bails.
< Scrooge > What a nice man.
< Narrator > the turkey goes to the cratchit's house and they're all happy blahblahblah scrooge goes to fred's house
* turkeyseller is now known as fred
* Looking up fred user info...
< fred > Merry Christmas Mr. Scrooge!
< Scrooge > Hey, it's Fred!
< Scrooge > Hello!
< fred > Hello yourself
< Narrator > fred's wife is there, too.
* Charity_Guy is now known as Guest1
* Random_Boy_3 is now known as Freds_Wife
< fred > I lurve my wife
< Guest1 > So do I, Fred. rofl.
< Freds_Wife > And ah luuuuuuuv yoooooooou.
< Scrooge > I love nice people.
< fred > What brings you out today Mr. Schrooge?
< Freds_Wife > I NEED MORE SCHNOPPS
< Scrooge > I just wanted to say Merry Christmas!
< Narrator > she comes around to realizing how nice a man scrooge is.
< fred > I need more captain morgan
< Scrooge > I love all of you Soooooooo much!
< Guest1 > =O
< fred > awwww, Scroogy!
< Freds_Wife > And a murray shishmash to *pass out*
* Scrooge huggles
< Scrooge > ^_^
< Narrator > there is much love.
< Guest1 > O.O
< fred > @_@
< Freds_Wife > x_x
< Guy_That_Says_The_End > The End!
< Narrator > everyone is happy, and the famous quote is said:
< Tiny_Tim > God bless us! Every mother in'; one!
< Narrator > scrooge is happy and becomes like a second father to tiny tim. everyone is happy except for the narrator who is very tired and will let someone else come up with a fitting end.
< Spiff > And Tiny Tim rocks out. *does guitar solo*
And OFFICIALLY STARRING
Kirobaito as.......Scrooge!
Necronopticous as........Cratchit, Fred, The Spirits, Businessman, and Guy That Says the End!
Mindflare as.........Jacob Marley, Fan, Mrs. Cratchet, Businessman2, Scrooge's Corpse, Charity Guy, and a Guest!
theundeadhero as.........fred, charity guy, and buisnessman3!
Spiff as.........Tiny Tim, Dead Tiny Tim, Fred's Friends and Wife, Doc Brown, Random Boy on the Street 1, 2, and 3, and Young Scrooge!
And last, but certainly not least, Hsu as........NARRATOR!!!!
We enjoyed this a lot, but we're donating all of the proceeds to charity. It's Christmas, after all.
