The Bad Jokes Thread

This thread is into dedication to all those horrible, so-dumb-you-cant-help-but-just-laugh kind of jokes. Im sure everyone of us has them. If you like, just post any joke here. I was having a lousy day today so i need some jokes as a pick me up. Get crackin gang! :D

What does a texas Tornado and a tennesee divorce have in common?
Someone is gonna lose a trailer

Why was the archeologist depressed?
His career was in ruins

Why was six scared of seven?
Becuase seven eight nine

horrible, horrilbe jokes... :p

Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a tomato.

A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

A man entered a pun contest. He wrote down his ten best puns, certain that one was going to win a prize.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

* * *

What insect smells nicest?

Deodor-ant.

all your base are belong to us

Two men walked into a bar.


...

don't laugh! It really hurt!

What do you call a woman married to a house?

A housewife.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!

How do you catch a tame unique rabbit?
Tame way! Unique up on it.

What do you get from sitting on an iceberg too long?
Polar-oids!

I know a slew of other jokes, but the vast majority will get me banned.

What will postman pat be called when he retires?

...PAT!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

So one day this bottle of applesauce was walking up the East side where he met a stoned monkey and proceeding in the drug deal of the year which endly badly because across the street sat a chipmunk who saw the whole thing and called the police who later showed up on the scene to find the bottle of applesauce in a pool of his own applesaucy goodness with various bullet wounds in his glass sides which had leaked out and killed an army of ants.
In this horrible mass murder, what do you find wrong with this picture?

Answer: Applesauce doesn't come in bottles! It comes in jars!

-rimshot-

A man walked into a bar. The other one ducked.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants running over the hill?
"Here come the elephants running over the hill."

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants running over the hill wearing sunglasses?
Nothing he didn't reconize them.

There are two flies in a room. Which one's the cowboy?

The one heading for the border!