Anyone watch comedy's?? Whats your favorite jokes??

This thread was initially for your favorite BET quotes but now Im gonna make it for any comedy show or anything. What is your favorite comedy quote or joke?? And you MUST label which show it is from. Why?? I dunno!! Just do it!! Heres some I got from the BET classic comedy view...

BET CCV:

"Why aren't they selling boyscout cookies anymore?? I wonder. Michael jackson must've ate em' all"

I died when I heard that one!! XD

"50 Cent got shot 9 times!! Wow!! Who the hell was shooting him?? Stevie Wonder??"

That is one of my favorite jokes of all time. I just couldnt stop laughing!!

Family Guy:

Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.

Pool Boy: I'm sorry sir, you can't park your van on the diving board.
Lois: This is my son.
Pool Boy: Oh, my apologies. Hey, Tom. He's not a van, he's just a fat kid.

Man, that show rocks!

To err is human.

To err is Truman!- Hawkeye

This is a brief list of memorable quotes from ATHF. Very brief. There's far too many good ones for me to choose just a few, but that goes over some of the better ones.

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record lately but.....

"It's just a flesh wound."

Also, there are many funny quotes from the Simpson's, Seinfeld, Family Guy, and Futurama, so I might as well use one so I'm not just preaching about The Holy Grail all the time:
"Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the, town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
Aaaaaahhhhhh!"

BET-Classic comic view-
Son:Mommy, Why are you and papi so dark, and Im so light????
Mother:Remember when I said I was gonna beat the blaclk out your arse? I was crackin up.

The episode of Seinfeld where George and Jerry figure out how to do the roommate swtich. Is either that or the episode where *Mind you, this is vague* where Jerry's trainer goes in the hospital, and eventually Jerry's trainers father and grandfather end up there with him trying to lift a television or something. xD